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My relaxation song happens to be 'Komm susser tod', I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

Unknown userMember21 July 2020, 11:32 am AEST

My relaxation song happens to be 'Komm susser tod', I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

I'm new here so I'm not sure where to post this but

Whenever I'm worked up or just need to relax, I find that a certain depressing song about the end of the world and suicide helps me calm down.

It's called 'Komm susser tod', it's from an anime, but the title is German and means 'come sweet death'. Dark, I know. The song is in english thou.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIscL-Bjsq4

You can listen to it here.

I was originally going to ask if this is normal, but I think it's just because of the slow beat and relatable lyrics in my current state.

Honestly thou, it's just that I can't express myself. I have anxiety and depression, and have had suicidal thoughts.

But I don't want to die. It's more like I don't want to live, if that makes sense.

I'm not sure what else to add really.

3 replies

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In response to: My relaxation song happens to be 'Komm susser tod', I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

Unknown userMember21 July 2020, 12:06 pm AEST

Re: My relaxation song happens to be 'Komm susser tod', I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

Hey @Former-Member

Welcome to the forums! It is very brave to reach out and share what you are experiencing. I hope you find a lot of support and connection here. I'm the moderator on duty right now. Feel free to ask the SANE forum team or the members if you need help with how to use the forum. You might like to check out the Guidelines as they can be pretty useful in understanding how it all works.

It sounds like this song really resonates with you and calms you. I get the impression from what you say that you experience suicidal thoughts at times and that they are manageable today. However, I'm going to send you a quick email to check in with you and make sure you have the numbers to call if you need extra support.

See you round 🌻

In response to: My relaxation song happens to be 'Komm susser tod', I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

JoSenior Contributor21 July 2020, 2:19 pm AEST

Re: My relaxation song happens to be 'Komm susser tod', I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

Hi Langodan. I think sometimes it's impossible to be able to express how you feel and what you think, so listening to certain music helps, even if it just stirs certain emotions without giving outward expression to them such as crying or an outburst of anger. If by listening to music you do feel some type of emotion, why not see if you can express it through drawing or just writing down 'willy nilly' how you feel. You don't have to be an artist to do a drawing, or a writer to put pen to paper. I wonder how you'd feel about playing this music in bed at night before you go to sleep? It could evoke some dreams that might be interesting to write down when you wake up.

In response to: Re: My relaxation song happens to be 'Komm susser tod', I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

Unknown userMember21 July 2020, 3:02 pm AEST

Re: My relaxation song happens to be 'Komm susser tod', I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

Dreams. I forgot about that. I had one about a week ago that was apocalyptic, to say the least. It's one of the first on such a scale, but I woke up not scared, just... curious as to why.

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