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Something’s not right

Changing meds

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thanks for being there @Appleblossom

I'm so very sorry if I offended you with what I wrote. I appreciate the support I receive from you and other forumites, more than you can imagine. You are all so special to me.

I hope you have a lovely day and thank you for your support. ❤️

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you for your support last night @Emelia8 @Anastasia @Eve7


I hope you all have a relaxing Sunday and are feeling a bit brighter than yesterday.

🦋💞🐾

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

@WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Thank you for the peonies flowers @Anastasia

How are things with you and your boy?

💞💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @WIP

My boy has spent the entire weekend in bed other than a stint out last night for a couple of hours 😔

I'm good just did some gardening and cleaned up my dogs area. He's happy now. My boy has a new support worker from tomorrow so writing this has made me aware I am a little anxious around her coming. I've cleaned the house as much as I can... hopefully she won't have the white gloves on. More than anything I just hope she's a good fit. I have to go to the office so praying my boy gets up and it goes ok. Other than taking "sick leave" I really don't have an excuse to be here. Maybe I could go in see my boss and then ask to work from home from midday🤞

See how I go...

Hope I sleep tonight. Just about to have a shower and then perhaps go for a walk. What are you intending on doing for the afternoon lovely?

Tagging @Emelia8 to update her and say hello x

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Anastasia

I'm sorry to hear that your boy has stayed in bed all weekend. I've been much the same, only migrating to the couch to watch Foxtel. Not a good weekend for me.

My psychologist referred me for a type of 'social worker', and I received a confirmation text. It doesn't cost me anything, it's something the council offers a think. Nice, friendly people to meet with every so often to increase my social interaction. I hadn't thought of having the house nice and tidy for when they come over - something for me to worry about later on. My bathroom needs some serious attention 😞

Maybe it's a good idea to come over after lunch, just to make sure your boy is up and about in time for his appointment. You'll spend your morning at work worrying otherwise, and from what you've said, you're manager is very considerate of your situation.

I'm off to rub some voltaren in my neck, as it's been aching since I woke. Too sore for me to even drive to get a massage.

There's always something!!

enjoy your shower and walk.

Bye for now 💞💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh gosh @WIP the last thing I wanted to do was add to your anxiety...I'm sorry.

I always tell myself "they've seen worse"...it helps a little. I'm stoked your GP has arranged a sw for you. Please let me know how that goes. Hugs and love to you and Levi 💗

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

I love this account @WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Oh no, you didn't add to my anxiety at all @Anastasia

Please don't worry.

I avoid cleaning the bathroom at all costs, so it's something that I have to do anyway. Please don't stress, I'm not stressed by what you said.

I don't know when they'll be contacting me, but it was really nice of my new psychologist to submit a recommendation/request for me. Any human j yet action will be good for me I think!

In response to: Re: Changing meds

Re: Changing meds

Another favourite @WIP

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