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Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor15 July 2020, 11:14 am AEST

Changing meds

Hi. I battled MDD & acute anxiety nearly all of my adult life. I've been on numerous different SSRIs, SRNIs, antipsychotics, tried rTMS & ECT. Am addicted to a benzo for my anxiety.

I am in the process of swapping out from a SRNI to a MAOI and the wash out period is hell. I really don't think I'm going to make it. This is the darkest place I have ever been.
I have no family support, honestly no friends, not able to work & are completely isolated.

i don't feel my medical team actually care much anymore, they are overwhelmed by new clients because of covid.

i hardly sleep, but the last thing in my mind before I do, is how much I want to die. It's the first thought of the day when I wake up.

what if this new medication doesn't work either??

2972 replies

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In response to: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor24 Jan 2021, 4:19 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Hi @Anastasia

I hope you and the family had a nice time celebrated a belated Christmas. I've tried to leave you alone so you can let your hair & relax my love!!

you deserve it - superwoman

In response to: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor24 Jan 2021, 5:52 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Hi beautiful, it was lovely. Very hot and too much of everything bit I do love them. Feeling very lucky 🙏

@WIP love to you and Levi xox

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor25 Jan 2021, 11:17 am AEDT

Re: Changing meds

I'm so glad to hear it was lovely with no dramas - creating beautiful memories. Hope you aren't too tired today for your full on day at work @Anastasia

💞💞

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor25 Jan 2021, 3:14 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Hi beautiful,

Managing and only one other in the office minding his own business...happy days 🙂

Tell me - how are you hun?

@WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor26 Jan 2021, 10:53 am AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Hi lovely lady @Anastasia

At least you've got today off work and don't have to worry about things until tomorrow.

Thanks for asking. To be honest I'm really struggling with many things and my days are very hard. I don't want to bring you down, as you've got so much on your plate.

I can empathise with what is happening with your Dad, and that alone is a lot!

Enjoy your day out of the office

Hugs xx

❤️❣️❤️❣️

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor26 Jan 2021, 11:57 am AEDT

Re: Changing meds

I'm sorry hun. I'm here for you and you don't bring me down, I live hearing from you. Love you lots 🌷🌻❣️💞

I'm having a rest. Got up early and did some gardening before the full sun hit the back yard. Both boys out so catching breath. Might do something with the bf. He's not my favourite ATM lol. That's another story L. Big hugs @WIP

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor26 Jan 2021, 1:50 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Thanks gorgeous girl @Anastasia

I'll fill you in soon. Depression is beating me atm, and Im gasping for air.

Early morning gardening sounds productive.

I hope you get to do something with bf - it might go towards fixing things between you guys?

Love & appreciate you so much xx

In response to: Re: Changing meds

BowSenior Contributor26 Jan 2021, 2:55 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Sorry your not doing well @WIP

Here with you 💕

In response to: Re: Changing meds

AnastasiaSenior Contributor26 Jan 2021, 5:26 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Just to remind you I'm here @WIP

Love you ❤️

In response to: Re: Changing meds

WIPSenior Contributor26 Jan 2021, 8:17 pm AEDT

Re: Changing meds

Thanks ladies @Anastasia @Bow

Ive been slipping for awhile and this knock to my head, and subsequent bruising headaches had taken a big toll on me. My sister has basically said she only wants contact when I'm well. And I just don't believe I'll ever get well. It's such a long road to recovery, and I have no idea where the finish line is - just that I can't see it.

Im so very lonely and when your own sisters doesn't want to know you, that's a problem. I'm going to be on my own forever - who's going to want to involved with something like me?!? They'd run a mile.

Anyway, that's enough dribble for tonight, I could keep going with more, but don't want to bore you.

Sleep well lovelies. xx

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