Hi Shaz51, thanks for the welcome. I have taken far too long to get onto something like this. I have kept it mostly to myself and my immediate family all this time. Means I have'nt made friends, got more health professional connections than friends. I am using a well known antipsychotic. The antipsychotic can make me a bit dopy at times, makes it hard to focus on anything. I tried to get off it 'cold turkey' earlier this year, thought I was going to die. Body very unforgiving when you try and take away antipsychotics. After 5 days I had to start taking them again. Always the same old story, when I think I'm better and don't need the drugs anymore, doesn't take long for my world to cave in again. I am trying to live a 'normal life', I'm studying for a degree which seems to be doubly hard with the problems with concentration, distractions etc. Had a close suicide call 2 years ago, nothing major since then, thanks God. Better stop writing now or I won't have anything to write next time. Thanks everyone for the support and I hope all is well with your husband.