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I don't know why I am really writing this. There seems to be part of me which says that I need to pull my head in and do this alone and another part who so desperately wants to reach out for help. I am really struggling. I'm not coping at all. For much of the day I've thought about all the reasons to die and there are hundreds. There is also one reason to live that keeps me here. I can't let down my oldest son and cut out his trip of a lifetime. He would have to come home and pick up all the pieces for everyone. I keep telling myself I have to hold on until he comes back and then I can let go but this keeps me waiting to die not choosing to live. I have a cold sore that now goes from the corner of my eye the length of my nose and it's slowly creeping across my face from stress. It started on Wednesday and each morning I wake to find more of my face engulfed by it. I am so tired. I am so sorry to write this and I know I'm so lucky to have friends on here that care. I don't want anyone to have to deal with this as it is so depressing so I started this thread as a way of saying that I'm not well when writing here and please don't feel obliged to read or respond.
Teen, I think you should ring an ambulance, tell 000 you are at risk ofvimminent harm, they'll take you to emergency for psych assessment & to keep you safe. You know we care but you have to take the steps.
In response to: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
@Former-Member, me & my typos. Be strong, your higher self knows what to do to keep you safe. Only just logged on. Big hug my friend, you'll get through this too 🙂
In response to: I am struggling at the moment
NikNikSenior Contributor
Re: I am struggling at the moment
@Former-Member Even though it may not feel like it now, I hope you recognise the progress you have made and have highlighted in your post above. It sounds like you have come so far over the year.
In response to: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
Think I liked teen @Former-Member. My inner child has been screaming silently in foetal position for 8 hours in my car now. I guess others know what that is like. It's so hard when you can't see a future or find faith or hope to hold on to. When you so desperately want to step over the edge and not look back but I guess I'm still not ready to do that either.
In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Re: I am struggling at the moment
That's great progress @Former-Member, and your higher self is telling you that, as @Former-Member put it.
Get yourself to safety. Everything will be worked out after that.
You can do it ❣
Keep us in the loop.
❤️💕
In response to: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
Im going to get a coffee from McDonald's drive through cos im desperate and try to get home. My son hasn't responded to my text so I not sure if he's peaved at me but I guess I deserve it
In response to: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
Oh @Former-Member, I feel your pain, I wish you had someone to come scoop you in their arms and help you find you bed, heat pack, headache pill, hot milk & tuck you in. Can you call someone to come get you? Even if it has to be a policeman or ambo - there's no shame. Two steps fwd one back is still moving fwd. We're with you,l
In response to: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
Great idea, hot coffee!!! I'll join you, I'm sure f&h will too & all of us, but hey, don't tx & drive!!!
In response to: I am struggling at the moment
Unknown userMember
Re: I am struggling at the moment
That would be awesome right now @Former-Member to have someone do that. I guess you've been here heaps of times too. It sucks. I hopefully will make it home on my own. Right now I can't rely on anyone but I guess I am on you guys. Ironically my therapist said yesterday I actually suffer from being too independent at times and not accepting help when I need it.
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