I am struggling at the moment

Not sure what they meanmean by "complete reversal of behaviours" butvi do relate to that horrible lost feeling where "nothing seems real".

I have oft caught myself out saying (sometimes only in my thoughts) " I don't know what's real anymore...". This is where, in the moment, mindfulness can calm the mind. Engaging the five senses...

- name 5 blue things around you

- what 3 sounds can you hear?

- feel & describe the touch of 3 different thingsthings or squeeze an ice cube.

- can you smell anything? Light some insensw or smell something strong that's nice.

Here’s a distraction for you .....

I have made some watermelon seeds out of plaster gauze (broken arm fixer) and now I am painting them with black nail polish ..... might start seeing pink elephants soon if I don’t take a break from the fumes .....

You most certainly are not a freak. You are just hurting intensely and trying to stuff it all back down. You most definitely need to be kinder to yourself. And trust yourself that you emotions can't rule you. You are the master and commander of you, and you can deal with your emotions in a healthy way. You have the capacity @Teej

Identifying the problem is the first step in problem solving @Teej ..... next is to be given strategies and skill building to create new channels for those reactions.

Brain plasticity helps us develop new pathways Hon.

Rather than fearing that outcome, try to view it as a (hell-scary) stepping stone that you will have help to get past .....

You have helped me get past (hell-scary) stepping stones before ..... and we are all here to help you with this one.

@Teej

The fear/anger issue seems to be core in most people. Its largely biological responses.

A lot of people have a moral stance against anger, because they know it causes problems. SO that part of you is valid, but anger has healthful life saving aspects too.

Can you work with your anger edge in a constructive way that uses the energy in it, but does not dump on you or outside?

That has been the essence of my journey for years.

I am hurting intensely @Sans911. I never admit to it but I am. I am scared because I thought she could help me but I know in my heart I didn’t meet the criteria for doing this therapy with her. I feel like my last beacon of hope has faded. She was really good at getting in my head and getting me to sort things out. In the four sessions we had she uncovered stuff no one else has been able to in a way that I could join the dots.

That might start a new ball rolling for you @Teej that changes the course of your healing journey into a new direction.

What I am hearing is panic .... and you need to let that panic tide go out again before you can think beyond it.

Baby steps tonight and tomorrow.

Have you drunk some water now ?

I am fading now. Everything is doing it’s thing. I’ll be safe enough now. Thank you all but I’m about to crash. 💜🤗

@Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Sans911 @Former-Member

Sleep well @Teej

Talk another day.

Sleep well @Teej .... catch up with you tomorrow.

💜💐