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Something’s not right

I am struggling at the moment

I am struggling at the moment

I don't know why I am really writing this. There seems to be part of me which says that I need to pull my head in and do this alone and another part who so desperately wants to reach out for help. I am really struggling. I'm not coping at all. For much of the day I've thought about all the reasons to die and there are hundreds. There is also one reason to live that keeps me here. I can't let down my oldest son and cut out his trip of a lifetime. He would have to come home and pick up all the pieces for everyone. I keep telling myself I have to hold on until he comes back and then I can let go but this keeps me waiting to die not choosing to live. I have a cold sore that now goes from the corner of my eye the length of my nose and it's slowly creeping across my face from stress. It started on Wednesday and each morning I wake to find more of my face engulfed by it. I am so tired. I am so sorry to write this and I know I'm so lucky to have friends on here that care. I don't want anyone to have to deal with this as it is so depressing so I started this thread as a way of saying that I'm not well when writing here and please don't feel obliged to read or respond.

3364 replies

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In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

No it didn't its ok

Content/trigger warning
Content/trigger warning
@Former-Member

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@TAB It all depends whether you click on hypertext/panel or whatever they call it.

Press on "Lived Experience" and you get 6 forum sections.

The top 4 are most used.

When you enter one eg "Something is not right" then you can read and join threads simply by pressing "reply".

Also at the top of each section is an aqua "New Discussion" button ... that is how you start a new thread and post whatever you want.

@Former-Member I hope I did not trigger you by my previous comment. I am mindful you are low.

It is just an etiquette thing .. we all know threads are open ... but when we are fragile I think it is a good idea to respect the original poster.

it was just that the other poster was new and the post serious.

Take care everyone.

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

No @Appleblossom. It's all ok. I stay away from reading when I'm really bad. Today was the first day I've read posts really but I'm still not feeling like writing much. I have read a few of your comments on different posts and still am in awe of both your strength and your vulnerability if that makes sense. You offer so much on this site as your very complex life has enabled so much empathy and understanding of what it is to be human (sorry if that sounds corny, it's not meant to be). You have taught me so very much. I think you and I are at polar opposites in life experiences. I really appreciate your views on things. I have been able to connect with a few things that I have been unable to with anyone else for which I am truly grateful. Wishing you all the best for you right now, I'm sorry I don't have much else to offer you but my best heartfelt wishes. Take care😊💜

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hey @Former-Member ...... ❤️🌷

@TAB

Here's a bit of a laptop walk-thru .... I'm on iPad, so the page lay-out might differ ...

When you click on Forums in the top bar, you get a page that offers you a choice between the Carers and the Lived Experience forums. If you click on the title of either, it will bring you to that cover page.

So .... looking at either forum .... on the right-hand side there is a box called Latest Comments. That shows you where people are currently posting. You will often find Night Shift coming up there .... and you can click on it to go to that thread. Clicking on any of those thread titles in the box will take you there.

Otherwise the main area of the cover page is taken up with a set of Discussion Topics. If you click on any of those, you will see a set of threads to scroll down, along with facility to open a new thread yourself if you want. A lot of forumites open "their own thread" where they might introduce themselves a bit .... what brought them here .... what they have connected with .... questions they may have .... support and advice they are seeking ....

I reckon you will work out how to drive it your way from here .... 😏

Yell out to anyone for more help if you get stuck.

The Report Inappropriate Content button in the lower left of each posting box - yours it anyone else's - will flag the moderators, and it doesn't just have to be for content .... if you have any question this is one path to getting a response. Another way is to tag individual mods with the @ symbol in front of their name (drop down box will appear as you start to type), or there is a link on the main page, and email address.

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Thanks for hints. Does 'etiquette' apply to 2 dift convs to 2 people in same post?? Not sure who is being talked to sometimes

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Thx 😀❤️

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Hi @Faith-and-Hope. I've been catching up on your stuff too. Seems like things are still tough with no improvement in sight. I am so looking forward to the day when you see some light with it all. I was half hoping you'd jump on nightshift because I was trying to avoid this thread for now but only because I'm ok BUT then I saw @TAB s comment and had to comment. 😊💜

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@TAB. It gets really messy with conversations and sometimes it's crazy on nightshift. There is no real etiquette with it. It's just like a room of people having different conversations and you can hear them all and respond to any. I hope this helps

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Thx I'll look there
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