I am struggling at the moment

I need to know why I should stop now, I need to know things can be better and that I won’t always be this out of control dysfunctional monster who just snuck a bottle past her son to self destruct. I need to know that I won’t always be ruled by my out of control emotions. I need to know that this feeling of always feeling like I’m letting someone down will eventually go.

I need to know I won’t always be a thorn in someone’s side. I need to know that one day I won’t feel like a burden to EVERYONE. I need to know I won’t always be a pain in everyone’s backside. I need to not fear everything. I want to pull the trigger, I’m in no mans land. I can’t go forwards or backwards. I am currently safe. These are I wants.

Hi @Teej,

I'm sitting with you

You aren't going to feel this way forever, you have made great steps forward and need to remind yourself of these. For the meantime, we are sitting here with you while these feelings are strong and we don't feel as though you are a thorn in our side. Be gentle on yourself.

@Teej

So sorry to find you so distressed..

the beautiful post you made wanting to include everyone....those are not words from someone who is a thorn in another's idle,,

that was an expression of compassion clearly demonstrating to all how highly you are thought of on here..

dont judge yourself..don't go down the self blame road..is not reality even though so many of us on these forums do just that..myself included when very low.. A symptom of mental illness

there are many here with you....

let them hold you and support you for as long as you need:

💜💐💜💐💜💐💕 @Teej .....