Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Something’s not right

I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember23 July 2016, 6:06 pm AEST

I am struggling at the moment

I don't know why I am really writing this. There seems to be part of me which says that I need to pull my head in and do this alone and another part who so desperately wants to reach out for help. I am really struggling. I'm not coping at all. For much of the day I've thought about all the reasons to die and there are hundreds. There is also one reason to live that keeps me here. I can't let down my oldest son and cut out his trip of a lifetime. He would have to come home and pick up all the pieces for everyone. I keep telling myself I have to hold on until he comes back and then I can let go but this keeps me waiting to die not choosing to live. I have a cold sore that now goes from the corner of my eye the length of my nose and it's slowly creeping across my face from stress. It started on Wednesday and each morning I wake to find more of my face engulfed by it. I am so tired. I am so sorry to write this and I know I'm so lucky to have friends on here that care. I don't want anyone to have to deal with this as it is so depressing so I started this thread as a way of saying that I'm not well when writing here and please don't feel obliged to read or respond.

3364 replies

1,901 - 1,910 of 3,364

1...190 191 192...337

In response to: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor02 Feb 2018, 11:33 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

You made it through last birthday season okay @Teej .... bumpy, but okay.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

TeejSenior Contributor02 Feb 2018, 11:36 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Please don’t panic if I don’t respond tomorrow. I’ve taken enough to be out for 24 hours.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor02 Feb 2018, 11:38 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

I’ll be here till the date changes @Teej .....

Can I post you some pics ?

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember02 Feb 2018, 11:40 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Teej I just wanted to let you know that there are people who value your presence even though you don't know they exist.

I've lurked here for some weeks and your posts have helped me in my own troubles without you even knowing about it and I wanted to thank you for that.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

TeejSenior Contributor02 Feb 2018, 11:46 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Thanks @Former-Member. Sorry I’m a bit out of it. Typing is getting harder

@Faith-and-Hope I loved the purple elephant. It was a highlight of my day.

Im not long now before I crash. It’s taken about as much as it would for that elephant to take me down

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Unknown userMember02 Feb 2018, 11:50 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Teej No need to apologise for anything.

I hope you wake rested and feeling better.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor02 Feb 2018, 11:50 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Here is something else purple for you @Teej ..... 💜

I’m glad you liked the elephant. You see ? You are close in my thoughts even when you’re not online.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

TeejSenior Contributor02 Feb 2018, 11:58 pm AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

@Faith-and-Hope I’m messing everything up at the moment especially the forum. I’m feeling like a selfish cow. I don’t know how to put that on my canvas in a good way. Everything is black again.

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

TeejSenior Contributor03 Feb 2018, 12:02 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Goodnight @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Re: I am struggling at the moment

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor03 Feb 2018, 12:03 am AEDT

Re: I am struggling at the moment

Self-care is not selfishness @Teej ..... but I think there is some sort of family teaching in your past that confuses one for the other.

Just ear-mark it as something to go over in counselling, and stop beating yourself up with it tonight.

Here’s the thing .... when you see me leaning on the forums on struggle days, you don’t judge me the way you are judging yourself right now.

The forums are like banking .... deposits AND withdrawals Hon .... it flows both ways, and that’s life too ....

You’re actually getting it more than you realise I think .... there’s just this guilt blockage in the way somewhere .... might need that elephant to help drag it out of the way .....

💜💐💕

1,901 - 1,910 of 3,364

1...190 191 192...337

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Aboriginal flag

Torres Strait Islander flag

Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.