New here need to let it out

Hi so for the last two and a half years I have been trying to “be there” support my cousin. I was asked to keep an eye on him by his mother before she died. He is schizophrenic and an alcoholic. 49 years and the most draining person I think I have ever known. I was told by a relative they believe he contributed to his mother’s death and to be honest I believe it. He has threatened me numerous times directly and indirectly, rings me constantly and both with and without alcohol will abuse me, accuse me of saying things I don’t, tells me incredulous things that happened to him, some of these become disgusting and graphic sexually. He is nasty, accuses me of being cruel be cause I try to take time out from him for my own sake.

Today as per numerous other times he has abused me for not spending time with him. I went to his house and left cigarettes and money under the door because he wasn’t home. For this I get told I am being cruel and he was nasty and trying to keep me on the phone even though I have my 2 grandchildren under 5.

I lost it, I screamed at him that I had enough. That he is cruel and mean and nasty to me. I yelled at him to leave me alone.

He constantly does this when he knows I have the kids. I drop food cigarettes money to him regularly as I am his Epoa.

He was involuntary hospitalised last year but they lifted the mental health order because the psychiatrist believed he is on the path to stability and is “ok” no one seems to believe how horrible he is to me except my son who lives with me (blind) and witnesses the calls.

He has support workers 5 days x 2 hrs but nothing at night or weekends which is when I cop it.

I get nervous going there because he locks the door and I know he went to my old house wanting to attack or threaten me for money for alcohol.

theres so much more to the story.

i am exhausted and feel guilty and frightened for yelling at him because I know it’s all I am going to hear about for months. I shake and feel physically ill when he rings