5 Day Online Event! You Are Not Alone - Crisis Advice for Family, Friends & Carers

@Former-Member, @NatureLover , @Maggie , @Former-Member

In the resources it talks about asking questions

which is very important to write things down that you want to ask

also while he was there for the two weeks

The specialists had a family discussion mornings ( first talking to me )

and then talking to my husband and I

I did find that a bit overwhelming when there was 6 others ( doctors , nurses, specialists ) asking me questions

After his last attempt Mr Darcy was initially in ICU and then in the surgical ward. There was a bit going on and I pretty much dropped everything to be by his side. Once he went back to psych ward I found that the docs there were out of their comfort zone in relation to general medical. I had to raise matters such as pain relief reduction with them, which was only attended to after I raised the matter with a nurse. Mr Darcy was having ECT and could not remember things and I was not aware that the physio had been otherwise I would have likely advocated for daily supervision of the prescribed exercises which I don't think he would have done. (I found the exercise sheets in his hospital paperwork after discharge).

As my husband was in hospital for 5 months post attempt, the carer information I found was not so helpful, most of it applying to coming home shortly after the event. I found nothing on to how to cope emotionally in relation to the physical sequelae of his attempt.

On the pdoc side two things happened:

1. One doc told me to look things up and I learnt so much. I realised Mr Darcy was not managing his mental health on his own and was able to tell the docs about behaviours that I did not previously know were symptoms, after I gave them information his diagnosis and meds were changed and he stabilised. We now work together as a team, but he manages things a bit better now.

2. As he got better, I was still on high alert and not coping, one of his docs had a chat with me about carer burnout and suggested get help for myself. I already had carer support from Wellways (pre Carer Gateway) but linked in with Carers Australia and was grateful for their short term counseling before finding a suitable counselor who helped me greatly and since that time have had regular counseling which, now that I am coping better, is more "maintenance" in nature.

thank you @Former-Member for sharing

It is hard and there is always soo many things to work out

1) the specialists solutions was to stop work --- but there was no help to put us in the right direction or the right information or to arrange any help

( I think if we had the help for the next step it would of been great 0 @Former-Member

2) and also the specialists wanted to send my mr shaz back to his mental health team which he did not want to go back too , soo nothing else was arranged

3 ) having his meds adding and topped up in the ward he could not think about the right way to go forward --- this is where i needed help

@NatureLover, @Maggie , @Former-Member

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@Shaz51 wrote:

I did find that a bit overwhelming when there was 6 others ( doctors , nurses, specialists ) asking me questions

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@Shaz51 that would be pretty overwhelming.

It's good how the YANA resource lists questions to ask the health professionals. I wouldn't know what to ask in a hospital situation for someone else. The questions cover the suicidal person's needs, plus your own needs.

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@Shaz51 wrote:

1) the specialists solutions was to stop work --- but there was no help to put us in the right direction or the right information or to arrange any help

( I think if we had the help for the next step it would of been great 0 @Former-Member

2) and also the specialists wanted to send my mr shaz back to his mental health team which he did not want to go back too , soo nothing else was arranged

3 ) having his meds adding and topped up in the ward he could not think about the right way to go forward --- this is where i needed help

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This all sounds very difficult, @Shaz51 . Thank you for sharing this.

@Former-Member wow. And 5 months with Mr Darcy in the hospital would have been tough. It sounds like you were critical to his care while in hospital, as well as afterwards.

I'm glad you were able to get long-term counselling as a carer.

This is great information from the resourses @Former-Member , @NatureLover , @Former-Member , @Maggie , @Former-Member , @eth

(because I had to explain myself sooo many times ) so I bought a exercise book when i brought my dinner -- you can cook in the accomadation kitchen

Write down some information about the person you care about, so you have their details at hand when you’re asked. Summarise the person's past mental health needs, if you know them. You could also describe:
what you think might have caused them to attempt suicide
the support they currently have at home
what you believe might help them right now.
You may need to tell the same story to multiple people, so having up-to-date information written down can make this easier, and give your mind a break from trying to think and remember.

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@Shaz51 wrote:

You may need to tell the same story to multiple people, so having up-to-date information written down can make this easier, and give your mind a break from trying to think and remember.

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Yes, this is good information, @Shaz51 .

I particularly like these two: "What you think might have caused them to attempt suicide" and "What you believe might help them right now." As you're the person who knows them best.

very true @NatureLover

but sometimes we still need some guidance on what to do next

after a few days mr shaz was allowed out for 4 hours during the day , which was nice as we walked on the esplanda, had lunch and coffee together , walked in the park and watched tv in my accomadation room

We both enjoyed that time of just relaxing , it was really nice

I think Mr shaz would like to do this now @Former-Member , @Former-Member , @Maggie , @eth , @outlander

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@Shaz51 wrote:

after a few days mr shaz was allowed out for 4 hours during the day , which was nice as we walked on the esplanda, had lunch and coffee together , walked in the park and watched tv in my accomadation room

We both enjoyed that time of just relaxing , it was really nice

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This is good to hear @Shaz51 🙂