Hi @Kazbar just wanted to let you know that I read your post and I'm sorry things are so hard right now. I have also experienced BP1 mania with intense anxiety due to out of control stress and lack of sleep. It's beyond words and I hope I never experience it again. I'm definitely not saying that I know how you feel, but you will find solidarity here from people who have some understanding of the challenges. For me, it took a major circuit breaker to find some equilibrium.
Do you have support from health professionals? Eventually I got a support team - good gp, psychiatrist and psychologist - as well as a few trusted friends. My initial self help was walking, and trying to keep some routine, but I dk what I would have done without help from good people in the mental health field.
Take care, frog.