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Lost

tiredeyesCasual Contributor31 May 2020, 1:20 am AEST

Lost

Recent times Ive found myself sliding down into the dark dank mire of the black dogs den again I take my meds and try to look after myself I walk each day I try everything I can to be "up"... sometimes I feel Im winning through that Im getting better... but I fail
and I fall spent most of today in tears about nothing at all just feel them rolling down my cheeks get angry with myself for allowing myself to be so damned weak and soppy no matter what I do to change things nothing works!
I have finally taken stock and realized that what her and her family have said over the last 13 almost 14 years is right I was a shit of a husband I was useless as a father and a total waste as a man so its time to just let go and hopefully if reincarnation is real my next life will be better because Ive failed so badly in this one.
I can see no point whatever in staying here in this world, its a pointless existance a nothing year after year month after month week after week day in day out nothing... a waste of a life.
be well be enough I am done

Shane

6 replies

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In response to: Lost

rockypugSenior Contributor31 May 2020, 1:53 am AEST

Re: Lost

Hi there,

I'm Rockypug one of the sane moderators here tonight.
I have sent you a private email a couple minutes ago.

Rockypug

In response to: Lost

Escaped_GoatSenior Contributor31 May 2020, 2:18 am AEST

Re: Lost

@tiredeyes no life is pointless. No life is a waste. I hear your pain and your strength. It's not weak to cry.. quite the opposite.

In response to: Lost

NatureLoverSenior Contributor31 May 2020, 8:52 am AEST

Re: Lost

Hi @tiredeyes ...I am worried about the seeming finality of your post above.

I want to echo @Escaped_Goat in saying, your life is not a waste. It sounds like you have children...I can't help thinking that it would damage them terribly if you were to take your own life.

I hear what you are saying about being sick of the suicidal ideation. I know how that feels.

I really hope you are safe, @tiredeyes . We are here to support you and there are people here who "get it".

In response to: Lost

Lilly6Senior Contributor31 May 2020, 12:34 pm AEST

Re: Lost

Hi @tiredeyes, I hope you are feeling at least a little better today. Tears are fine, I do it a lot too, and it can be a good release. You are worth it and NOT a waste of a life, remember that.

In response to: Re: Lost

AppleblossomSenior Contributor31 May 2020, 8:08 pm AEST

Re: Lost

@tiredeyes

Hi again.

Feelings are not well handled in Aussie male society, and the dad thing can be frought. Opinions and judgements and even labels are so common, but it is sad. My dad got the Schizophrenia label and was written off, and died young, not thru suicide tho, thru lack of provision of medical necessities. It ended up being my job, to see all the good things about him. Life is weird, and your kids do need you as a human being, not some ideal perfect husband or joe blow.

Take Care

Apple

In response to: Lost

Unknown userMember01 June 2020, 11:15 am AEST

Re: Lost

@tiredeyes Wondering how you're travelling today? Sounds like you were feeling a lot of heaviness. There's nothing wrong with "soppyness" here @tiredeyes Men from all walks come here to unpack and feel out their emotions. I am sorry you've been up against so much. We're here to listen when you're ready and are really keen to know how you're going

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