Desperate but the mind is stronger than the need

I've been following an exercise and diet program since the end of January. The exercise (and the resulting 10kg weight

loss) has been extremely beneficial to my mental health. As a live in carer to my mum who has dementia the structure of exercise and eating well has meant that I seem to cope with things a lot better. Overall I feel a lot calmer within myself.

My problem now is that out of the blue I have done something to the Trapezius muscle on my right side. It didn't happen during a workout, in fact I was just sitting on a recliner Monday afternoon and it started to hurt, and has got worse over the next few days.

I've been taking anti inflammatory's but

I know more than anything it needs a good hard massage - and there lies the

problem. I can't stand anyone touching me, my heart feels like it is beating out of my chest just writing this.

It seems so simple, but I just cant bring

myself to do it. I have to psyche myself up for days just to get to a hairdresser, but no amount of telling myself it will be ok will convince me to seek out a massage. The thought of anyone touching my bare skin just

makes me want to cry.