Escaping the depression cycle

Hi @Appleblossom , @Lilaca , @Snowie and everyone else who passes through

My Friday list

• Get up by 7
• Eat breakfast
• Help my son get ready for school
• Take him to school
• Finish cleaning kitchen before plumber arrives
• Clean lounge
• Finish the washing
• Clean bathroom and toilet and hallway
• Eat lunch
• Try to rest
• Pick son up from school
• Get dinner on watch a movie with son while dinner cooks
• Eat dinner
• Shower and face routine
• Study instead of videogames if unable to sleep

WOW! @Define_normal

Mine are finish back corner paving.

Finish Exercises.

Shop for food.

Big Mince cook up with black beans.

Get out apple dessert for reward for finishing paving.

Dig up lambs ears.

Dig in 2 more plants at physios and water those still trying to establish.

Physio appointment.

King Kat.

Piano.

Tidying.

Computer upload problem.

Hi @Define_normal, @Snowie, @Appleblossom,

Wow @Define_normal & @Appleblossom , both of your lists just keep growing longer each day!

On the contrary, I am keeping my old list until this becomes a daily routine. I am terribly disorganised.

Tbh, I am not always successful in doing all of them, so will keep on practising until I get them right..

Good luck all!

Great lists @Appleblossom @Define_normal

@Lilaca my list today was simple, have a shower and wash my hair. I am pleased to say I managed that after lots of internal encouragement 🤔

@Define_normal @Snowie

The computer thing is ongoing but I have an anniversary deadline to keep me at it. Ticked off most and added a few more, but not much tidying. Just moved a few books ... Just when I think "ticking off" is a good thing, someone comes along and uses it in the "being annoyed" sense . .. ha ha ... words ... sigh!

@LilacaI am working at keeping my mood level. That is probably highest priority, rather than fixated on routine or todo list. For a very long time 20 years, I did not think I would ever feel good about life, but am starting to. A big plus. Sometimes that includes a day where I barely do anything, and I just hang onto myself and the thought of Being Alive.

Still have a direction and next thing ... is often helpful ...

Hi @Appleblossom, @Snowie, @Lilaca and anyone else passing through

My lists do seem to get longer as I add stuff I need to do but most of it is repetitive as I either don't finish the task or it is an everyday task I need to remind myself to do

So I'm going to do my list up in sections today.

Stuff I should do everyday:

• Shower and face routine
• Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner
• Cook/Make decent meal for dinner

Repetitive stuff I never seem to finish:

• Clean kitchen
• Clean lounge
• Clean hallway, toilet and bath
• Do washing

New things I realized I need to do:

• Tidy my room
• Go through my son's toys and clothes

I'm going to focus on getting done today:

• Washing up

Self reminder:

• If can't sleep do studies instead of videogames

@Define_normal

Managing Expectations is huge.

I got today's work of wash and changing bed done yesterday ... lol

I was really on a roll ... I have decided now that kids have gone and I am on my own and it does not effect anybody else ... to honour my own energy availability.

Hope you enjoy your study. What is it?

Hi @Appleblossom,

Expectations are really difficult for me but it's not my expectations that are the problem, it's everyone else's. I never seem to live to their expectations they have of me and it's the biggest thing that tears me down. If I manage to get anything on my list done just one thing it's huge to me till others start going on about how I should have got more done. I grew up in a house where I was basically a parent for my younger siblings and so I did all the cleaning and while it wasn't 100% clean ever it was never a pigsty while my partner lived in a house where dad went to work and mum cleaned and took care of the house. So my family and his family expect me to have a perfect house. Even his expectations are high and it makes it hard because while he tries to understand my mental health and how it affects my capabilities in day to day life it's hard for him when his parents basically wrapped him and his brother in bubble wrap. Everything I grew up with he basically may as well of thought it only existed in movies. There is some stuff I went through as a child that I still haven't told him and probably never will

Yes the old woman's work chestnut is a tuff nut to chew.

Especially when it is meant to be invisible .. a taken for granted sign of love.

@Define_normal

At least you are clear for yourself, for now.

My hub should have known "if you dont get sleep and work around the clock the spirit and body will suffer", but he could not add that up. He could add up when his body was suffering .... We both had math/sci background. I hoped it was enough to bond over but it was not. Our pasts are carried into the present. Has your hub ever heard that to grumble over housework is petty and discouraging? Does he pull his weight?

Mine hated his mother's pride and diligence and obssesion with it ... and had me over a barrel either way ... too clean or too dirty ... did my head in.