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Baby steps...

soylatte2sugarsNew Contributor26 May 2020, 8:38 pm AEST

Baby steps...

Today I made the decision to breathe, and to begin the process of seeking professional help.

i have two children (15mo & 6yo) and a husband. I was diagnosed with PND and anxiety about eight months ago. But with home schooling and self isolation; my entire being has taken a hit.

I've found myself feeling distracted and not feeling part of reality. I zone out.

I couldn't tell you when hubby and I were last intimate.. I just have zero interest in anything sexual at all. And I know he's feeling it. But I can't do it.

I'm tired all the time. I sometimes wish I could be anywhere else but where I am right now.
I've lost who I am. All I know is mum and wife (and even that is questionable).

So, I'm going to ring around some psychologists in my area, find out fees then see my GP to get a referral.

I'm also going to try and start eating healthier, etc etc.

I hate feeling this way. I really do.

4 replies

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In response to: Baby steps...

Unknown userMember26 May 2020, 9:59 pm AEST

Re: Baby steps...

Hi @soylatte2sugars , welcome to the SANE forums, I'm Rainforest and moderating tonight. It's really lovely to have you here and thanks for telling the community a bit about yourself. It's also great that you're reaching out for support both here and professionally as it sounds like you've got a bit going on.

I'm sure the forum members will be able to offer you support, information and connection. Feel free to ask the SANE forum team or the members if you need help with how to use the forum. You might like to check out the Guidelines as they can be a pretty useful in understanding how it all works https://saneforums.org/t5/help/faqpage#community-guidelines. Take care.

In response to: Baby steps...

BlepSenior Contributor26 May 2020, 10:24 pm AEST

Re: Baby steps...

Hey @soylatte2sugars. I am there with you! I've just become a first time mum and my little man is 5mths old. I have perinatal depression and I'm on antidepressants to help me. When I was about 4mths pregnant I started to notice changes in my thought patterns and emotions and knew that something was wrong. I found a psychologist that specializes in pregnancy/depression which I knew I needed. After getting on my meds I felt a whole lot better. My mood was regulated, I had energy (as much as a pregnant woman could have) and I felt "normal". After the birth I felt fine. It was a rollercoaster but my mental state was intact. Though now i have taken a 180 turn and not in a good head space. On a daily basis I cry, feel empty and alone. It's bloody hard to try and keep a smile on my face but I fake it to help me through my day with my son.

The one thing I would suggest is looking for a psychologist that specializes in this field. They will be able to help guide you through it better.

Good luck and if you ever need an ear just tag me in your thread 😊

In response to: Baby steps...

OwlunarSenior Contributor27 May 2020, 2:11 pm AEST

Re: Baby steps...

Hi @soylatte2sugars

I am really glad you have decided to breathe and reached out - already planning to see someone about your depression too - well done - and welcome to the forum family

My second child was a frail, little premmie and my first was going through the terrible-twos-plus and I lost myself somewhere in there too - I don't think I was depressed by certainly I wondered what it was all about and as for intimacy - I really wondered how anyone got around to having their third child - it was the last thing on my mind

You will be seeing someone about this but in the meantime remember - both partners have to want "the moment" and both have to be in "the moment" - don't put pressure on yourself about this - let life happen

In the meantime you could get onto PANDA - Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia and talk to someone there - as rotten as it is what is happening to you now is normal - and yes - it does pass but you need some help and good on you for reaching out - that must be hard

Dec

In response to: Baby steps...

Eve7Senior Contributor27 May 2020, 9:12 pm AEST

Re: Baby steps...

Hi @soylatte2sugars @my heart goes out to you precious lady.

I was in s similar situation many years ago after the birth of my second child.

You are making the right decision to seek out help and I encourage you to find support groups like this where others will listen.

I’m sure you’re a wonderful mummy to your darling babies but it’s not always easy. Parenthood does get easier for a while (until they become teenagers) so I’m here to listen anytime as are others and I’m sure your man is too.

Take care ❤️

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