Hi @HOT
It sounds as if you have reached the lowest of low points and this is actually a good place because it means you have no where to go but up - and I am so glad you have reached out here and I would like to take this chance to welcome you to the forum
I have done something called Cathartic Hypnotherapy - this takes a huge commitment but it was worth it. I was encouraged to yell at my mother - of course - she wasn't there - He practised from his home. I don't know what his neighbours thought but that was not my problem
It worked - over time I got over my anger - and even after my sessions with this man ceased I was able to understand things and self-settle - and I can also hypnotise myself now
I don't know if this therapy helps with feelings of self-worth - or the lack of it - I don't know if it helps with despression. It certainly helps with anxiety, anger and fear.
You can only try - possibly it's a case of can you afford it - we get 10 subsidized sessions with a psychologist a year and that's not much -
I wish you the best with it - it sounds that right now you can't get any worse and you are totally fed up with your situation - it sounds like the right time to reach out and grasp at an opporunity and hold onto it with both hands
WTG
Dec