Greetings @HopefulWarrior and @Jynx and all who may come.
You have given yourself the answer to what you seek, because you are a master.
Its very understandable the situation you find yourself in.
As a lived experience I have been through this too and I hope that what I have to share can help you to navigate the way out (which is in).
but before we begin, @Jynx
I know that you mean well and are only trying to help,
but Please be careful with sayings like "Human beings are creatures of habit", this is not imperically true, it is only a belief system which paints a false idea that we all have to accept some form of illusiary limitation and flaw, it hinders growth.
Habit's are something that we don't know we are doing, but once we know we are doing them; it is a CHOICE. To know that we have choice is part of putting the power back in our hands. So it is about being conscious and also in this case dropping the habit of thinking that humans are creatures of habit, but that's your choice to keep it or not and if it serves you in some way by all means keep using it.
Now @HopefulWarrior
To see yourself floating above, tells me that it's about a disassociation/distancing with your story and your situation because it's probably too scary and overwhelming to face.
Well, there are a few aspects to this, though all are linked,
Fundamentally, this is about Responsibility, and it is also how one connects to their power.
When I say Responsibility i'm not talking about blame in the negative sense as it has been misused in society, i'm talking about taking ownership of your story.
To take ownership of your life and where you are now, to step into the driver seat of your vehicle and to put your hand on the wheel to take your life back into your hands.
And that's a wonderful thing!
If you choose not to be the driver and take the wheel, then it is "out of your hands" both figuratively and literally.
Because when we choose to be in the driver seat, only then can we steer our vehicle in the direction we wish to go.
And only when you accept your reality as it is, can it then become something else.
The depression and anxiety are closely linked and related to this aswell.
Depression arises from an identification to the personality constructs, events and experiences of the past that were created and accumulated unconsciously over a period of time, it always belongs to the past, (memory) and the story of "me".
It doesn't have to have any power over who you choose to be in this presence, unless you say that it does because the choice is always in your hands, because within every given moment we have that choice and it is you who are the first and foremost authority on you, not parents, not teachers, not any doctor, and certainly not any psych with their labels or diagnosis of who and what they think you are, it is you who are the boss of you and no-one knows you better than you, nor let them try to tell you otherwise.
The past we can't change, it's something we all must accept.
But we can forgive ourselves to be liberated from any "pains of the past" by making peace with the past.
Letting go of the past doesn't mean avoidance, or denial of the path we took that got us here, but rather; to acknowledge, recognise and even to have gratitude, for ALL the rungs on the ladder which helped us here as valid steps of the process.
A Caterpillar cannot become a Butterfly without the darkness of the Cocoon first.
It doesn't matter how dark or unpleasant each rung of the ladder may have been, each was valid and played a part, each was worthy and valuable experiences to get you to where you are now and without each and every rung on that ladder, without each and every step of the way; we would not be here now, reading this and going through this phenomenal opportunity for transformation, to hatch from that cocoon and to emerge free in full vibrant colour and splendour.
Have you heard the saying to "be the change you want to see in the world"? To have and make the vote for the world we want to see.
We can choose from this presence right now, what we want our life to be and what world we want to create, every action is a vote.
Your current situation and what you see around you is the result of past thoughts, emotions, behaviours and actions.
Being present in the moment, is not really something that needs to be done, there is no effort,
because it always is the present.
The present is like a blank canvas, we can paint what we want.
We choose from this moment what we want our life to be, and what we want our world to be, with unlimited possibilities.
So I hope that you and we collectively choose something wonderful.
Namaskaram,
Guiding_Light
