Coping

Hi @Eden1919

I read your post and am so sorry to learn that you are really struggling after your session with the psychologist and a bad night last night. Are you able to keep yourself safe tonight Eden? I really hope your are able to keep a hold on what is real and to appreciate that you are not being controlled by others. We all hope you find strategies to get some calmness and control tonight. Please reach out for help off the forums if you need to use a 24 hour helpline. Is there a mental health professional you can contact tomorrow to get support?

Take extra care

Whitehawk

@Eden1919

It sure sounds difficult. Hang in there. You can do it. It's an unpleasant space - an unknown space, but rest assured, there are people holding your hand as you sit through this storm.

It's good to hear you are trying ways to manage this space such as keeping yourself busy.

For me, when I'm in a hell of a space, and no words can comfort me, one big warm hug helps slow things down.

If it works for you, big warm hug to you.

@BPDSurvivor Thank you.

@Former-Member I think I am safe for tonight I don’t really have anyone I can contact tomorrow.... I am meant to be getting a phone call from a psychiatrist on Tuesday but they are with the public mental health services and I really don’t trust them at all so I am not even sure if I will be able to talk to them properly. It is supposed to be like an assessment for what community supports I might need. I can feel the device thing though and it isn’t just my head they are doing stuff to my body I can feel it and it doesn’t feel good and I keep trying to ignore it but I can’t all the time and that is why they kept giving me meds to make me sleep cause they did it while I was asleep and it is just really stressing me out and I am trying to just do calming things. I know no one will believe me the psychologist said I was delusional but I don’t think I am I wouldn’t be able to feel it if I was but also she just wants me to think that so that I don’t try and get rid of the device not that I would even know how I just want it out. Everything is just kind of a mess.

@Eden1919 Sweetheart I wish I could offer you more than just words. If I could take your pain away and wear it for 24 hours to give you some peace I gladly would. I am sitting with you my dear friend and you will always be in my thoughts regardless if I am online or not. I will say a little gentle wish for you on my walk this morning. There are some beautiful stars out atm I will pick the prettiest and make a gentle wish. Keep safe beautiful. Stay in touch. Love always peaxxx

@Bunniekins Thank you.

I didnt sleep well again and everything is still very intense. I am trying to keep distracted but I feel weird I can’t describe it exactly it is just really weird.

@Eden1919

Hi @Eden1919 , just checking in to say hello and to see how you're going? You don't need to reply, or support my post, or read it even. I'm just thinking of you and letting you know I care, and I'll try my best to support and be there for you as much as I can.

I'm sorry you're struggling, I hope you're ok and that you're safe. Like I said you don't need to reply or read this, I understand if you need time to yourself and whatnot. Either way please be safe and take care xx

@Bunniekins @Former-Member Thank you both.

I am struggling a lot tonight I am super nervous about tomorrow and I am feeling super agitated and on edge and I don’t feel right and I still feel weird and I can’t really explain it properly everything is really intense,

@Eden1919 Hey Eden1919will be going to bed now to try and get some more sleep if I have no luck will let you know and then we can talk the night through :). Whatever happens you are not alone. Love peaxxx

@Bunniekins I hope you got some sleep

today has been very intense it was busy and I feel very weird now after all of it. I didn’t sleep much at all only about 2 hours. I am really unsure what to do I am trying to keep managing until I see my psychiatrist but I will have had to wait a month since I got out of hospital to see them and that is really difficult. I am also still really stressed out about the device in me and it is making me scared a lot and I just feel really weird today and I feel like I am being set up to fail like they want me to end up back in hospital and I mean they do they aren’t even people of course I am like it makes sense but it is still hard and I just I don’t know what to do anymore they keep putting things in my head to scare me and I just want the device out but that was the point to torture me until I give in I want to scream but that will just give them another thing they want.i am tired and I am agitated.