Hi. it's been a While

HI, it has been a while and I apologise.

I had my husband's niece in my care for about 6 weeks.(that's another long story) but she went home last thursday and I flew here back home to Queensland(her new home)

My husband came back from Japan but phoned me a few days earlier to tell me he had no money. I knew this would happen. He said he was so desperate he wanted to "hock" something. In the last week he stayed in a luxirious Beach Resort and lived it up....going to hot springs everyday. I told him he is on his own now and has to deal with his debt and not to get me involved. His mother eventually lent him some money. He did manage to go back to work and is working but was insisting on seeing me. I told him I was happy to communicate at times (via texts) if he needed anything but It was difficult for me to see him face-to-face.

He did come over last Saturday to pick up some things for his Tax. He met me on the front verahdah. He doesn't like to come into the home. I struggled to look at him and he said, "You are not looking at me". Tears streaming down my face, I tried to explain to him about the tax donation receipts. He was brief and cold and then left, but sent me a text message to ask if I wanted a lift (by car) to the shops. I declined.

It's very sad to see that the man I loved is no longer that person. I was busy for six weeks with my niece(we were both in emmotional pain) but she kept me company and it kept me oocupied.

Now I am on my own but keeping busy with my health checks and hoping to start a course. I am seeing another New counseller next week.

I am not sure if the relationship worked for my husband or not. I think it's an on-off relationship with the woman in Japan. But he is totally obsessed with Japan. He told me he purchased three Japanese instruements and wants to learn them. Everything he tells me is bizarre.

The struggle I have now is loneliness. I miss my mother and I miss (the husband) I once knew. This person now scares me because he is so unpredictable.

What I deal with now is grief. I have to work through the grief of losing my mum, and now my marriage and husband.

I just take each day as it comes but I sure wish I had more support.

Anyway I hope everyone else is doing well.