Trapped

I don't know what to do anymore. All I feel is numb right now. I can go from being ecstatic to depressed to numb in a matter of minutes. I've been diagnosed with different disorders and I was in hospital for months to try and cope. Things did get better but lately it's been really bad.

i want to ask for help. I want someone to notice that I'm not ok and help me. Everyone thinks I'm ok because I act ok to make everyone else happy but internally I'm crying. I feel like I'm trapped in a dark room with no where out except for a door that is getting held shut by everyone I know. No matter how much I scream or yell or beg for help no one will open the door because the don't know I'm in there. No one knows how I'm feeling and I'm too scared to ask for help.

im scared to ask for helps because it will only be an inconvenience for everyone else. Maybe I should just trap myself in a room and disappear forever. No one would notice anyways...