Tough Times

Thank you @outlander and @Former-Member , I managed to find it. Thanks again

I am still struggling with the issue I had a few nights ago, working it through to forgive myself and move pass it. But it has taken a heavy toll on both my body and mind. Actions and beliefs are hurting me in new ways now. I hard an exhausting session with my counsellor Nat this morning and haven't functioned well since. Still I pulled in my big girl pants and took D3 to her fathers as I waiting for D2 to come back to the car after saying hello, I was asking myself why do I do this, today is not the day to be sitting outside a place that caused me so much pain and headache, that took so much from me because of the people inside at this very moment. I saw this as a small win because I never think like that, I just sit there absorbing all the hate I feel coming from them. But then she came back to the car angry, I asked what happened and she reluctantly told me. I know their criticism of me and my life shouldn't get to me but I am and I guess alway have been super sensitive when it come to those people. She also told me that the first thing D3 did was complain about having to pay $50 extra a Fortnite to help me a little. Let me tell you she doesn't even pay it, yes she transfers it across so ex can see it's gone in but then me or D2 transfers it back to her from our own accounts. She does nothing around the house, and I have always bent over backwards to give her what she wants and needs. I have gone behind her stepfathers back more times then I care to admit to give her everything. Let's not mention the literal thousands of dollars spent on her five years as a cheerleader and her time in the Australian Youth Choir at a time when we could nearly afford to pay our bills. This cut me today, this is my finally straw, I am struggling to see the point of any of this and really can't see why I bother at all. She has just arrived home and I can't even look at her, I am scared of the anger I have towards her right now. I would never hurt my child ever. I am just ready to give up. I try so hard and get nowhere.

Sorry needed to vent. @Lee82 @Former-Member @

I'm really sorry about all that @Former-Member .. its all so unfair on you. People are not getting the real story at all. It must be so disappointing and upsetting for you. I dont know what to suggest ... but I really feel for you about this, and realise how very hurtful it must be to you.

I am thinking of you.

Sherry 🌸

Thanks @Former-Member 💖🦋

Firstly babe I want to say well don't for being able to take your daughter to her dads even when you were feeling so bad. That shows me courage and the will to keep going no matter what. Your capacity to put that mask on and head out is amazing you are a fighter.
The fact you were able to express those emotions into of sitting eith them shows growth.
I understand the effects that other peoples thoughts and opinions have on you cause I am the same. That is something that will take time and healing to overcome to be able to not let it affect us.
Our children honey always take out their anger on the ones they love the most and given she doesn't know your whole story would make it difficult for her to understand a lot of things. I'm so sorry for what has happened today babe. That is the last thing you needed to deal with.
would maybe some meditation tonight help with your thoughts? I'm so sorry Babe I feel helpless but I am always hear to listen. My heart hurts babe because I feel your pain my beautiful friend.
please be kind to yourself and please stay safe.
love you to infinity and beyond

@Former-Member

@Former-Member

How you doing babe?
@Former-Member