FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

Tough Times

Tough Times

I thought I'd open up this discussion for anyone going through a rough time at the moment and want to get some extra support.
I am struggling a lot at the moment dealing with a range of things. One thing a struggle with is Anxiety. This is something I deal with everyday. I wake up with it every morning and fall asleep (when I sleep) with it every night. Some days are worse than other days. Distractions play a big part in coping with it daily. At the moment being stuck at home schooling my kids is my biggest distraction. It helps most of the time however sometimes it can be a real struggle to stay present and calm. We as a family try to go for a walk everyday. We take our family dog with us. Another distraction for me is cooking but this can be a challenge as I struggle with motivating myself but when I get into it I create some nice things. Today my 8year old son and I made oat based banana and chic chip muffins. 😋😋

I hope everyone's day has been a good day filled with self care and motivation.
@Former-Member @Angels333 @Sans911 @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Snowie @eth @outlander @Former-Member @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope @BlueBay

And anyone else who I have missed. All are welcome to join.

1958 replies

1,941 - 1,950 of 1,958

In response to: Tough Times

Re: Tough Times

Frozen on the couch @outlander FB always freezes me can't move. I am counting right now trying to breath.

In response to: Tough Times

Re: Tough Times

I agree with @outlander

@Lee82 deep breathing is one thing that helps slow the panic feelings.

In response to: Re: Tough Times

Re: Tough Times

Thanks @Maggie i am trying thag now. I have nevreally been abl to stop also if atteck nevirev

In response to: Tough Times

Re: Tough Times

@Former-Member You have had many, many people both offering support and including you in their conversations. You have also stated many times you want to support other people. Sometimes the best way to do that is to realise when you need to take a step back and allow conversations to flow freely between other members. This is not excluding you but it may be that those members know the person better, have experience in what is needed and/or have a closer connection to eahc other. At those times it is more beneficial (and supportive) by simply 'listening' from the background, pressing the support button and knowing that we can't all be everything to everyone all the time.

Some threads have a natural progression and familiarity between members who can support each other from a longer history of knowing each other as well. When we are not feeling great we often gravitate towards those we know have helped us in the past or offer the best advice for our current situation. No-on means to exclude anyone in this process but mich like in real life we have friends or supports that we gravitste towards.

In sayng that it is also imperative that when we are ourselves supporting someone we do not turn that support onto ourselves and make it about ourselves - that is not being supportive. If we begin to struggle ourselves then taking that to another thread where we can also receive support is advisable. This is not a forum guideline but is unwritten advice rom knowing how best to approach both our own support and that for others.

Many members here are going through a lot, yet they find they can also support others at the same time. It is about realising what each of us can handle, how much we can give someone else and what we need ourselves. There will be times you can support others and times you need that yourself but it is important to be able to distinguish between those for yourself and also to sum up the present situation of any thread, understand what is happening in terms of the conversation and have some context of what is going on on that thread as well. No-one here would intentionally disregard a post or member however it may take time to get back to them. It is not a chat site - replies are not always immediate - sometimes they even come the next day ...especially when they are in the Something's Not Right or Our Stories sections.

It becomes uncomfortable for people seeking support to have to deal with individual needs outside of their own especially when it seems the conversation is being turned around and not actually being about their needs ...especially when it has taken great courage for them to ask for that support.

It is also often a good idea to state a position once then move away from that point. Repetitive and continuous posting of the same/similar thing is not necessary. Many members here have validated your place here, tried to get across that you are welcome and that you are valued - in my opinion there is no more that anyone can do in order for you to see and feel that yourself. I understand that you have great difficulty in seeing all that but we can only do so much.

I have suggested this before but feel it is time to mention it again - I beleive you would receive more support, get to know people better and them you if you stick to a couple of threads to build up both your story and your connections here. Those that are able to will follow those threads and those that are themselves needing support from others will receive that where they feel comfortable to do so. I again suggest this as I believe you would gain a much fuller and supportive network if everything was kept together for you on one thread.

This by no means actually means do not support others because that is obviously your nature but realising when and where it is needed and being able to step back quietly when it is not appropriate would be advantageous for all - especialy yourself so you do not feel unheard or not wanted. We all have a place here on the forum - sometimes it is about finding that right niche, the right peope for our needs, and the right time to interact.

@Lee82 @outlander @Sans911 @Former-Member I will catch up with you all at another stage - presently I cannot deal with a lot that is going on but certainly have seen that soooo much is happening for you all. You are being so supportive of each other but also knowing your own limitations - very wise of you all to self-care when you have had to and reach out when needed to. Hugs and hugs and hugs to you all

In response to: Re: Tough Times

Re: Tough Times

@Zoe7 I wasn't arguing with anyone, I just said that I'll give everyone here some space. I've been around on other threads, I just came here today to check in on everyone, but everyone's dealing with a lot so I said I'll leave everybody alone, that was all. I wasn't mean or anything bad, was just saying I'll be away from this thread

In response to: Re: Tough Times

Re: Tough Times

@Lee82 @Zoe7 @Maggie @outlander @Sans911 I'll be around on other threads. I wasn't upsetting any of you, all I was saying is that I'll give you all some space since you're all dealing with a lot and that might be best. I'm sorry I can't help, and probably make things worse uninentionally. I care about all of you and want to support all of you but I'll leave you all alone for a while.

Sorry if I did something wrong once again, won't apologise again but just wanted to mention thats why I left you all alone. I'll be chatting on other threads like I mentioned

In response to: Re: Tough Times

Re: Tough Times

I know you weren't mean @Former-Member and yes, you did step away to the Good morning thread. That is appreciated. But you posted several times the same thing when outlander was trying to support Lee. Everyone is trying to be kind and supportive to you, but they can't always do that at the exact time that you want it. Zoe's post sums it up quite well. We all want you to be here, but you need to understand a little of how the forum works. You been asked a few times now to be patient and understanding, but quite often you're not. The forums have been through some major upheavals in the last few weeks, and some members are constantly supporting others. When they do that, and then have to respond to your needs at the same time, it becomes hard to take care of everyone's needs. People are reaching limitations here. Remember, many of us are dealing with our own problems and issues daily. We love being supportive but we also need time to just breathe and have breaks. Much like professionals do.

In response to: Re: Tough Times

Re: Tough Times

Sorry, it won't happen again. I promise and I'm sorry I made mistakes again, wasn't intentional. Please don't be mad and criticise me and hate me, etc.

I'm taking a break from this thread now for good @Sans911 @Lee82 @Zoe7 @Maggie @outlander and if there's anyone else I missed

In response to: Re: Tough Times

Re: Tough Times

I'm not mad at all with you @Former-Member, and I don't think anyone is. I'm trying to understand what is happening and how I, and others can help you feel ok here. And we're not trying to be critical either. Everything we do or say is to help you gain awareness and perhaps you can learn from these experiences. No one wants you to take a break from any thread, but to just have some understanding.

In response to: Re: Tough Times

Re: Tough Times

I echo what @Sans911 has said but add you have done exactly what we have asked you to think about again. Step away from a thread by all means but please try not to continue to post that is what you are doing, that no-one wants you there or people are angry with you. You need to read over what I previously wrote again and break it down into the points made as they have been done to try to help you - just as the post the other day was intended to do. This is not just for my own sake or others here - it is about You and how we can work with you to gain the most benefit from being on the forum. Remember also that we have been here a long time and have a lot of experience - we are simply trying to work with you from what we have learnt and dealt with so you can be both supported and supportive. It does become uncomfortable for others to continue to receive the support they need when there are continual posts about yourself out of context from what is actually happening on a thread. Those conversations are best for the Social Threads unless you also need support and that is why I suggest you stick to one or two threads where the majority of your story is so far - that is very much for your benefit so people know where to find you and can choose to help if they are capable of doing so at any given time.

1,941 - 1,950 of 1,958