Tough Times

@Former-Member that's okay, I understand. I just always think to myself, "why does this all happen to me? all bad stuff, even with so called "professionals" apart from my Psychiatrist."

Are you ok @Lee82 ?

@Former-Member , I get it as I am the same way. Now they are looking for somewhere to "put" me for recovery and I am thinking the same thing all the time. I haven't had a very good run over the week or two and I get it's for my own safety but still why can't I get a break from all the bad stuff, it even made it's way into my home last night. My last safe space. I may not be around for a while after tonight if they have found somewhere for me. I won't know till morning. I hope you can catch a break from the bad stuff my friend. Sending you all my love. @Former-Member 💖

How you doing hun?
@Former-Member

@Former-Member I am hearing you babe and I feel your frustration.

As good as can be I guess. Not feeling very safe in my own home right now, but no one can get in because locks where changed. Moved my bedroom around so it's not in the same spot so hoping that helps. @Lee82 What about you babe

I know babe it must be feeling a little like that at the moment for you but I think you have taken the right steps to ensure your safety and changing up things too was a great idea.
to be completely honest with you and I am struggling quite a bit.
@Former-Member

Rational mind knows I am safe, but I am not that rational tonight. Please tell me about what's happening for you @Lee82

@Former-Member how are you doing now

@Former-Member I'm so sorry to hear that, I really hope that you're ok. And I really hope you're ok too @Lee82 . And if there's anyone else on this thread.

I'm feeling like crap really. Feeling like such a failure, for not studying and leaving school early in year 10, so 2015. I was just reading my report from my Psychiatrist because he did it at 6pm today. And it said, which he told me in person in the last session, I should work and/or study.

I told him that it's not that easy and so many things to take into consideration. Because of my PTSD and whatnot, I don't wish to study again because of the stress and what happened to me at school. I was vomiting and had stomach problems every single day to the point I could barely move and all I did was cry. I ended up in hospital for my first surgery from it in November 2018. I'm ok now in terms of the surgery.

I tried explaining this to him and other things to consider, and that I have tried to get a job or even volunteer, etc. and that I have no skills but I'm willing to learn, but nowhere will take me in. I live in a small country town and there's other towns around that are sort of bigger, one town in particular, but they won't help me either.

I don't want to handle the pressure again, whether its face to face or online, with studying and/or work. I know him and my parents are trying to help me but I can't even talk about school because of how triggering it is.

I wish people would understand. I would've done something by now if I knew what to study, had the mental capacity and concentration, and other things to consider. I feel like more of a failure when it gets bought up to me again.

Yes it would be nice to do something with my "life" and have a sense of achievement etc. but I don't know anymore. Sigh.

Plus 90% of everything I've looked up, I needed to finish year 10 and then do year 11, 12 etc. I'm too old to go back to school (I'm 20) and don't wish to do that either anyway.

Sorry to vent. I'll just keep overthinking this and regret typing and saying it all (thats me not any of you)

Is exh2 there tonight with you?

@Former-Member

@Former-Member , that is a lot of pressure to put on yourself, a lot of negative emotions floating around and it's all valid because of your experiences in high school. Sometimes those guiding us a trying to push us to get out of our comfort zone because they see more in us then we do. You certainly aren't to old to go back to school I was 25 with a 6yr old, 1yr old and a 3 month old. I redid 11 and 12, graduated I even got early entry into uni to do my studie to be a psychologist. There is hope for you to have a filling life no matter what you choose to do my friend. @Former-Member