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I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Just parking all my info under this one banner so I can keep tabs on me self.

Introduce yourself here (First post 13 April 2020)

Hello everyone,

I've been living with varying degrees of agoraphobia and panic attacks since 1989 and, right now, I'm looking down the barrel of homelessness after drawing the short straw with my rental property being sold in mid-February and the new owner not open to extending my 60 days notice. Have to be out on 28 April. I'm over-55 and have no family whatsoever. Was going

to be a difficult move in the first place, but the lock-down has raised the ante with being

able to connect with support agencies. After a lifetime of being resourceful and always

managing to pull myself away from the ragged edge of disaster, now I am starting to

feel like I'm all out of moves. For years now, whenever I talk to somebody on the phone or in person, the focus is on what I can't do, what I don't have, what I can't afford and how restricted and limited my choices are - I am looking forward to being on the other side of this phase of homelessness and being assisted into a 'forever home'. Just right now, it's *gulp* and you know, wake me up when its over! I've been sorting and packing up for weeks now and that has been triggering memories of past trauma and flying monkeys ... and auuggggghhh!!

* * *

Re: Introduce yourself here (13 April 2020...later)

Thanks @NatureLover @Maggie and @Wenna for the welcome.

As I was chasing the dust bunnies under the bed this afternoon the thought came to me to have another chat to the property agent and request he mediate with the new owner so I can get an extension until 8 May.

Don't ask, don't get.

I look forward to the time when I can put aside the need to come up with strategies to keep myself safe. Hasn't been that great where I have been for 14 years and everyone else has moved out, as the whole complex was sold, so there are layers of loss. A quirky fact about me : I'm the last resident tenant here who knows where all the cats are buried and their names.

* * **

Reply to Maggie and NatureLover (14 April 2020)

..... because my rental property was sold (along with other units in the complex) ... and vacant possession is a condition of the settlement, it's not an eviction for rent arrears.

It's one of these scenarios where people go "oh....I haven't heard of that before". This morning I put my case to the property agent and outlined what the scenario was going to be if my request for an extension was knocked back.

Last night, I learned about a crowd in Victoria (Anika Legal) that provide free online legal services for tenants experiencing disadvantage during this time and have contacted them.

First 30 years of my life, I was caregiver to parents with severe and persisting mental illness and war trauma and I struggle with boundaries and taking care of myself. It's how I'm hardwired; the perfectionist, purple polka-dot people-pleasing thing that can't be in the driver's seat right now.

As I was surfing around this forum with all it's lovely click bait to other resources, came to a page with a review of a recently published book titled We Are Here, Stories of Home, Place and Belonging with this quote that helps me to keep it all in perspective and not go slide into the swamp of internalised stigma.

Meg Mundell’s Introduction tells us that the stories in this collection reveal just how easily, if our own luck turned bad, we might find ourselves unhoused. (p.xiii) She also tells us that

Homelessness is often seen as a result of bad choices made by flawed people. This convenient myth supports the illusion that it could never happent to ‘us’, ignoring the well-documented structural causes and unforeseen life events that can render people homeless. These include a dire national shortage of social and affordable housing, punitive welfare policies, inadequate social security, poverty, unemployment, rental stress, gentrification, family violence, sexual abuse, discrimination, injury, disability, mental illness and traumatic incidents. (p.xiv)

(anzlitlovers.com)

Let the good times roll....

* * * *

So .... I didn't get the extension that I requested (boo hiss).

As I am placing items outside for a scheduled hard rubbish removal, the word has gone out on the grape vine that there are freebies available at Jo's place. Every morning I wake up, take a look and it is like the elves have been and the pile is getting smaller.

Six more sleeps.....

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In response to: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

@Jo-anneJoy Cool I want a phone like yours :P! cannot wait to hear about your new place once you have moved in. I really hope it works out for you Jo-anneJoy 🙂 xx

In response to: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Haha @Jo-anneJoy - nasty phone to do that to you. Yay for the negative result.

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

thanks @NatureLover and @Sans911

I can't identify the place that I'm moving into @Bunniekins , other than to say that it's

short-term crisis accommodation; a hostel situation with several other females in similar

circumstances and will only be for 8 weeks max. The location places me into a better catchment zone for other supports, such as oncology clinics.

While I'm there my case manager from another agency will be pushing through the paperwork for public housing, ideally to get a place of my own.

I won't be hauling my computer with the tower CPU with me. I haven't yet twiddled with the

iPhone to see if I can access this forum or anything - still discombobulated after the stunt it

pulled on me this morning (side-eye).

@Appleblossom having mulled over SM's essay that you linked to, I feel like I have read something that is valid let falls short of the mark : it does serve as decent round-up of what others have written and said on the subject. While the debate over resilience continues in academia, take notice of how many times "children are resilient" is served up in pop psychology pieces and Dear Abby columns. SM writes for her peers; I'd like to see her

publish for the layperson.

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...


@Jo-anneJoy wrote:

The location places me into a better catchment zone for other supports, such as oncology clinics.


Oncology? Oh no... 😞 @Jo-anneJoy

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

@Jo-anneJoy I hope there are some nice ladies that you can pal up with and that you are moved into some super pea housing sooner rather than later. 🙂

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

@Jo-anneJoy

Glad you have somewhere to go short term,

but also saddened by your need to be close to oncology clinics.

I agree about the nature of SM's discussion, and the difference between general public and publication for academic career and peer review.

I had studied a lot of psycho-social theory and various therapies and we both had experienced personal issues. I am glad that she is putting out concepts that are not just echoing the current trend. Politely querying is better than pretending issues do not exist.

"Resilience" has become such a buzz word, and is important validating concept, but a focus on the strengths without addressing the reality of the vulnerabilities can be problematic. I do think that I now suffer major physical issues from past failure to look at my trauma, which could be seen as iatrogenic.

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...


@Appleblossom wrote:

I had studied a lot of psycho-social theory and various therapies and we both had experienced personal issues. I am glad that she is putting out concepts that are not just echoing the current trend. Politely querying is better than pretending issues do not exist.

"Resilience" has become such a buzz word, and is important validating concept, but a focus on the strengths without addressing the reality of the vulnerabilities can be problematic. I do think that I now suffer major physical issues from past failure to look at my trauma, which could be seen as iatrogenic.


Do you mean the past failure of the therapist to look at your trauma so they bypassed

straight to the strengths-based tool box and re-silenced you?

Have you come across the writings of Karen Woodall, a UK psychotherapist?

PS this is SM's little no-frills website. I printed out this page and have it with me whenever

I strike a case manager or support worker who says something that inadvertently flips the

'you-made-it-all-up, they-weren't-that-bad' tape. Whenever I have a colonoscopy, I watch the screen to see if it's stuck up there....around one of the bendy bits.

https://sites.google.com/site/workwithin/tasks

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Ok. This is my first go at posting from my traitor iPhone (side eye) so far so good but geez I really need to get new glasses now although the spellcheck is impressive. Now I get how voice recognition aye my job as an audio typist (side eye). Let’s sea if I can bagel peeps Happy Saturday 👍

@na

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

@eth, this is @Jo-anneJoy thread xx

hugs @Jo-anneJoy

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