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I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Just parking all my info under this one banner so I can keep tabs on me self.

Introduce yourself here (First post 13 April 2020)

Hello everyone,

I've been living with varying degrees of agoraphobia and panic attacks since 1989 and, right now, I'm looking down the barrel of homelessness after drawing the short straw with my rental property being sold in mid-February and the new owner not open to extending my 60 days notice. Have to be out on 28 April. I'm over-55 and have no family whatsoever. Was going

to be a difficult move in the first place, but the lock-down has raised the ante with being

able to connect with support agencies. After a lifetime of being resourceful and always

managing to pull myself away from the ragged edge of disaster, now I am starting to

feel like I'm all out of moves. For years now, whenever I talk to somebody on the phone or in person, the focus is on what I can't do, what I don't have, what I can't afford and how restricted and limited my choices are - I am looking forward to being on the other side of this phase of homelessness and being assisted into a 'forever home'. Just right now, it's *gulp* and you know, wake me up when its over! I've been sorting and packing up for weeks now and that has been triggering memories of past trauma and flying monkeys ... and auuggggghhh!!

* * *

Re: Introduce yourself here (13 April 2020...later)

Thanks @NatureLover @Maggie and @Wenna for the welcome.

As I was chasing the dust bunnies under the bed this afternoon the thought came to me to have another chat to the property agent and request he mediate with the new owner so I can get an extension until 8 May.

Don't ask, don't get.

I look forward to the time when I can put aside the need to come up with strategies to keep myself safe. Hasn't been that great where I have been for 14 years and everyone else has moved out, as the whole complex was sold, so there are layers of loss. A quirky fact about me : I'm the last resident tenant here who knows where all the cats are buried and their names.

* * **

Reply to Maggie and NatureLover (14 April 2020)

..... because my rental property was sold (along with other units in the complex) ... and vacant possession is a condition of the settlement, it's not an eviction for rent arrears.

It's one of these scenarios where people go "oh....I haven't heard of that before". This morning I put my case to the property agent and outlined what the scenario was going to be if my request for an extension was knocked back.

Last night, I learned about a crowd in Victoria (Anika Legal) that provide free online legal services for tenants experiencing disadvantage during this time and have contacted them.

First 30 years of my life, I was caregiver to parents with severe and persisting mental illness and war trauma and I struggle with boundaries and taking care of myself. It's how I'm hardwired; the perfectionist, purple polka-dot people-pleasing thing that can't be in the driver's seat right now.

As I was surfing around this forum with all it's lovely click bait to other resources, came to a page with a review of a recently published book titled We Are Here, Stories of Home, Place and Belonging with this quote that helps me to keep it all in perspective and not go slide into the swamp of internalised stigma.

Meg Mundell’s Introduction tells us that the stories in this collection reveal just how easily, if our own luck turned bad, we might find ourselves unhoused. (p.xiii) She also tells us that

Homelessness is often seen as a result of bad choices made by flawed people. This convenient myth supports the illusion that it could never happent to ‘us’, ignoring the well-documented structural causes and unforeseen life events that can render people homeless. These include a dire national shortage of social and affordable housing, punitive welfare policies, inadequate social security, poverty, unemployment, rental stress, gentrification, family violence, sexual abuse, discrimination, injury, disability, mental illness and traumatic incidents. (p.xiv)

(anzlitlovers.com)

Let the good times roll....

* * * *

So .... I didn't get the extension that I requested (boo hiss).

As I am placing items outside for a scheduled hard rubbish removal, the word has gone out on the grape vine that there are freebies available at Jo's place. Every morning I wake up, take a look and it is like the elves have been and the pile is getting smaller.

Six more sleeps.....

85 replies

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In response to: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Sorry to hear that. @Jo-anneJoy

Good you are in the system. Dont get lost in it.

I had a funny handball experience last week and was told to expect a call from NDIS this afternoon so I hung around the phone for 6 hours. No one called. Too many little organisations and not enough connections ... Long Long sigh.

My computer is misbehaving atm. Dont take no response form me personally.

I love your humour and tried looking at your link. WIll try and get off this frozen page, but my current probs are not too bad.

Someone paying the bill will know you are there, so I hope you do get proper attention soon.

Take Care

Apple

In response to: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Hey @NatureLover how are you going?

The end isn't on the horizon yet.....last week I had about a dozen lengthy phone conversations with six separate housing workers/case managers/support people and I am quite drained from deflecting quite intrusive and inappropriate questions from males (who should know better).

I am now acutely aware of how so easy it is for women, such as myself, who are in a precarious position, to be 'groomed' into disclosing more details about experiences of intimate partner violence that factor into my current disability with complex-ptsd, that is needful for the purposes of an initial assessment for housing.

These are two of the questions I was asked on Friday : Were you a virgin on your wedding night? and Have you had sexual relationships since your divorce?

The perpetrator freely admitted that they weren't 'official' questions and he was satisfying his own curiosity.......

No names, no pack drill. Have already been signposted to a legal service.

Game over.

I'll getting the proper attention real soon @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Oh my gosh @Jo-anneJoy , I can't believe those questions! 😮 Sounds like you can stick up for yourself, that's good.

Am so sorry it's so difficult to get housing support.... 😞

Do you have any further meetings or anything this coming week?

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

@Jo-anneJoy

I am with @NatureLover that is totally out of order.

Good to have you both on board here on the forum. This can be some kind of outlet.

There are so many inappropriate things that people who are paid, and ought to know better, put their clients through. I have a current complaint going from last month. The amount of stigma and consequent disrespect is shocking and can be extremely harmful.

Getting proper attention Bella. Not snide self serving c//p.

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

@NatureLover ....it's such a grey area with those questions, in the context of an initial assessment for crisis accommodation/housing. I feel like I didn't stand up for myself as I could have ended the assessment and requested someone else complete that paperwork.

There are further tele-meetings this coming week.

I have an iPhone now and the turd-of-a-thing kept saying it didn't recognise my fingerprint......*sigh*......et tu, Brutus

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

It sounds like you completed the paperwork despite the inappropriate questions, @Jo-anneJoy ...good for you. And I call it standing up for yourself by not answering those offensive and unnecessary questions. Do you have to see this man again during the processing of your application for crisis housing?

Good luck with the follow-up meetings this week. I feel for you, having to go through all this.

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Not seeing anybody at all @NatureLover Everything is being done over the phone because of the continuing restrictions and lock-down : there have been no face-to-face meetings at all.

This morning I completed the IAP with another agency where before the questions started, I was read my rights and the protocols the agency follows, why certain data is being collected and if I didn't want to answer certain questions or expand on answers, that would be respected and I wouldn't be pressured. That step was not included on Friday afternoon.....so had the bloke been a slack-Alice because it was TGIF time, end of a long hard week......

You can get it walkin’
You can get it talkin’
You can get it being a jerk.........

As of today, I am officially on a waiting list for medium long-term transistional housing with a mob that can provide a heap of wrap-around support. I'm in the system like Neo..mwhahaha

It's now up to the agency that are assisting with co-payments with this motel, to continue the assistance or to send a man-with-a-van to physically relocate me to a place that is within their budget; especially when I don't have a car and I do have mobility restrictions with what I can lift, how far I can walk, standing for hours.....etc etc.

Now I am going to try and get through to a community engagement officer at Centrelink....I wonder if they have new music to listen to while on hold.

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...


@Appleblossom wrote:

There are so many inappropriate things that people who are paid, and ought to know better, put their clients through. I have a current complaint going from last month. The amount of stigma and consequent disrespect is shocking and can be extremely harmful.


I find it a bit of a conundrum, because I can see where most of the time it's sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity that is at work, not deliberate maliciousness or unnecessary cruelty - the people hasn't engaged their brain before they open their mouth. That indicates a deficit in their training, they need to be sent to puppy-training school upskill and do some more workshops.

A couple of decades ago I used to provide workshops for staff in the employment sector, teaching them best practice (at the time) on how to work with clients living with panic-anxiety disorders, agoraphobia and so on.

Everyone has a story, my narrative is - for some people - one they've never heard before which puts me in the position of being their learning curve or giving monosyllabic answers. As of today, there are three housing workers in Melbourne who know something they didn't know last Monday because of the conversation they had with me.

Picking my battles.

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...


@Jo-anneJoy wrote:

Not seeing anybody at all @NatureLover Everything is being done over the phone because of the continuing restrictions and lock-down : there have been no face-to-face meetings at all.


Oh yes, I worded my question wrongly - I meant do you have to work with this man again at all?


@Jo-anneJoy wrote:

As of today, I am officially on a waiting list for medium long-term transistional housing with a mob that can provide a heap of wrap-around support. I'm in the system like Neo..mwhahaha


This is good news 🙂

Good luck with the next steps in the process...

In response to: Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...

Re: I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings; I've done all the thumb dings...


@NatureLover wrote:

@Jo-anneJoy wrote:

Not seeing anybody at all @NatureLover Everything is being done over the phone because of the continuing restrictions and lock-down : there have been no face-to-face meetings at all.


Oh yes, I worded my question wrongly - I meant do you have to work with this man again at all?


Well, I was hoping that I wouldn't have further contact with that chap, but I received a

call from him this morning to answer another more questions to do with a Vulnerability

Index, that he didn't have time to complete on Friday because, you know, he had

poor time management skills and was unprofessional and unethical.

He seems to just be a paper-pusher. I will ensure there isn't another phonecall

and another worker from that agency is my contact.

Good news is that my renewed Driver's Licence has turned up. Now I can use the

free van from my storage facility and be over the border before sundown.....

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