Any diagnosed germophobes or hoarders on this forum?

@NatureLover I trust the gp visit wasn't too stressful and the waiting room wasn't full of coughs and sniffles.

Yes I see the therapist Friday. Had physio today.

Bullying is never the answer. I remember when "change management " was an HR priority and workshopped at length. That was many years ago.

I have nothing planned for tomorrow. Perhaps I can pause for reflection - I've had some family worries the last couple of days.

Thanks, @Dimity . Amazingly there were hardly any coughs in the fullest waiting room I've seen there at the GP's.

Yes, bullying and an atmosphere of fear definitely doesn't bring out the best work in the workers.

I managed yesterday to restore the house to inspection neatness. (My S.A.D. started on Sunday, so I had slipped a bit.) The goal from my psychologist is to keep it neat for 4 weeks, till I see her again. I've never managed to do that before.

I counted up, and I reckon for the last 22 years my house / room / living quarters has been full of mess, including at times boxes piled up to nearly the ceiling. So no wonder I'm more used to mess than neatness. I want to change that habit, so that mess looks out of place. Hope it's possible.

I hope your therapist visit on Friday is positive and helpful 🤞

Well done on the neatness reset @NatureLover.

My clutter goes back a long way too. And lots of boxes. It sounds as though you've had more than the 35 boxes in the past? Well done if you've reduced the number.

There's a particular gardening book I thought I'd shelved, and kept out of boxes, but I can't find it. It's ages since I've tackled any of the boxes of books. I guess I now have an incentive.

You've done well to keep regular visits with your psychologist while juggling mental healthcare plan timings. I missed out on some sessions because of sacking the awful psychologist last year. Yes I hope tomorrow's session helps.

It seems colder tonight. I hope you have reasonable heating.

Thanks, @Dimity . Yes, I've had many more boxes in the past. By some miracle, about 9 years ago I cleared 53 boxes in 2 days with my then-neighbour sitting outside next door for moral encouragement. I had psyched up for about 18 months to do that!

That's a good incentive for you to tackle your book boxes 🙂

I can't manage without my psychologist. So I'm very careful about my MHCPs.

My heating is a reverse-cycle air conditioner, and you've just reminded me that I need to clean the filters! Thanks.

Thinking of you today with your therapist. I wonder what she'll say about your new schedule. I hope you find the session helpful 🤞

Hi @NatureLover I'm glad the support button seems to be working again.

I can't imagine how you would clear 53 boxes in 2 days unless you took them all to the tip... shudder.

Today I barely raised my routine, I was so busy unloading about my family spituation and the dilemmas I'm facing.

Are you coping OK with shopping? I've realised I'm overstocked with catfood and by easing up on buying it I can reduce the clutter in the kitchen.

It seems to be weeks since I've made any headway in the house or garden. I'm going out tomorrow but maybe I'll get something done Sunday.

I hope you have a good weekend. I wish I could emulate you and tidy everything.

@Dimity Yes I'm glad the support button's working too.

Was your therapy session helpful yesterday? I really hope so...

Yes, am coping with not overshopping, thanks.

I wouldn't wish inspections on anyone. But they do have a good effect.

I'm uncertain today whether to go in to work to catch up on the paperwork. I'll see how I feel a bit later.

I hope your outing today goes well.

Thanks @NatureLover I enjoyed the outing and catch-up.

Did you work? It's good of you to give so much of your time.

I felt heard by the MH Social Worker yesterday but that in itself wasn't particularly helpful. I feel guilty for past and present failings. I don't know how to work around my disabilities to help family who need help and being reminded of my incapacity doesn't actually help. So maybe voicing my concerns, even if they're validated, is just venting and I should pretend I don't care and then wear the guilt of that instead. And watch my family members suffer because they can't navigate a health and welfare system that's built on selfcare, and self-efficacy, and self-advocacy, and physical and mental capacity, and independence, and lets some genuinely suffering people fall through the cracks. It's almost as though physical and mental illness and resulting socio-economic disadvantage are moral failings and "lifestyle choices" (as one healthcare professional told me) and thereby disqualify you from services ostensibly set up as a safety net. Mix in neurological problems affecting your memory and capacity to sustain engagement and you don't just fall between the cracks, you disappear into a void.

@NatureLover @Appleblossom @tyme

Sorry @NatureLover. The family situation worries me. But I'm not doing a good job of looking after myself, let alone other people.

I think my brain fog and emotional shut-down must be avoidance.

I try to keep muddling along but achieving small things doesn't do much for the bigger issues.

No need to apologise, @Dimity .

I think that we need to look after ourself before we can look after anyone else (speaking generally).

I'm sorry that your family is in such a distressing place 😥 That is disgusting and reprehensible that that healthcare professional said it was a "lifestyle choice"!

I didn't go in to work yesterday, having decided that today would be better as we are having a power cut here at the units today. But I've woken up feeling ambivalent and despondent about work, so might not go in today after all. I'll see a bit later. (I hadn't arranged it with anyone at work)

At least I managed to clear the house to inspection neatness again yesterday...I'm keeping on track with my psychologist's goal of 4 weeks.

I'm glad you enjoyed your outing yesterday.

I hope you can have a nice day today, including while feeling avoidant /shut down (which we need sometimes).

@NatureLover

@Dimity

hearing you about the struggle to balance doing the little things, and being concerned about the big things. Very much my life journey. Medical gaslighting has been described in a few YouTube videos. I wouldn’t have credited it, til I saw it and experienced it firsthand. Yes, the systems do seem to be failing many who deserve better care. Nowadays I am joining many dots, about what has been behind the scenes for my loved ones ( the three dead ones and my son.) it gives me a fire in the belly some times, when I am not dejected. I periodically do lots of research, looking for possible people or services. Mostly I am left to prayer. Though at times I tell the man in the sky to please turn up his hearing aid. I am not one, not to take action if relevant or possible. No, carers and family members can’t always arrange things suitably. People definitely fall through the cracks. Lifestyle choices? I don’t think so!

@tyme @Shaz51