Hello @NatureLover .

I've realised the broken cable isn't worth fixing. It would take weeks, it's the old legacy copper so could fail again elsewhere, and frankly I can't face dealing with the unpleasant neighbour to arrange access. But I can't afford to upgrade to fibre as the ISP requires a new plan. I considered walking away from NBN altogether which I thought would be very isolating but after much despair found another ISP offers 5G home internet at a reasonable price. So I'll follow that up.

Sorry to be verbose it's my woolly thinking.

I'm having real trouble getting that routine going. And I've just realised this is the 3rd day in a row I've missed my walk. I've been caught up I guess. But if I'm not careful I'll lose the plot.

It's midnight and I've just remembered I have to clean up before the home help comes mid morning. I'm scared of sleeping in so I'll have to do it now.

Well done on solving your internet problems @Dimity ! I know how daunting it is.

When do you see the counsellor again?

I felt for you, cleaning up after midnight. I hope it went well.

Well, the new boss at work has quit. Effective immediately. Not a good day at work yesterday - too much was put on me. I went to bed at 6pm last night.

I'm somehow going to have to stick up for myself. Without getting sacked.

Thankfully I have 3 days at home now apart from popping to the shops, maybe tomorrow instead of my usual Friday errands. It depends on whether any books come in for me this afternoon at the library, then I'll go out today.

Miserable weather all day today for me, but the rain is much needed.

Hope it goes OK with the home help today and that you get the good, pleasant lady.

🫂 Hugs @NatureLover .

In your work situation the Desiderata poem comes to mind. It's not necessarily religious.

Desiderata: Original Text

This is the original text from the book where Desiderata was first published.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

by Max Ehrmann ©1927

Unfortunately it's the other home help today. I wonder what she'll criticise today.

I hope there's some good reading in your library bundle today.

I don't mind the rain. Just mindful its movement is giving some respite to NSW flooded areas.

Take care.

Thanks for the poem, @Dimity . And your kind words.

Oh no re the critical home help 😣 Sending wishes she just shuts up!

Today it was yet again we only get better through our own efforts and we have to try harder and do more and was I driving again etc etc so I reminded her that I'd been under doctors orders and was indeed building up and that I don't drive being half blind. She also remarked on my slow decluttering progress but that I don't mind as much as it's fair comment. I'd been banned from squatting so scrubbing the shower had been beyond me but she said it would give me something to do... that was her parting shot. I think I'm ready to cancel. They gave me no help for months when I most needed it.

We had very little rain.

Sorry to hear your "home help" was less than helpful @Dimity

It seems to be easy for people to say these things, when they have not experienced the issues that the person they are directing to is experiencing. It sounds to them, to be a reasonable statement, without thinking how it might impact the other person.

I tried to empty the wood fire ashes in a place I have in backyard this morning, but I couldn't get there because the yard is so sodden I just sunk into the ground. I used an alternate place, but even though I had shoes on, I still needed to wash my feet at back tap before I could come inside! Will be wearing my gum boots when I go out the back now!

As I can't get anything done outside as it's started sprinkling again, I shall do some ironing.

I need to chop a bit more wood, so will do that this afternoon, I can just stay dry where I do it if there is no wind.

Hope the rest of your day picks up

@Till23 You say It's easy for people to say these things, when they have not experienced the issues that the person they are directing to is currently experiencing. It sounds to them, and those not in the know, to be a reasonable statement, without thinking how it might impact the other person."

That's interesting that you judge them as reasonable statements that the person on the receiving end might for their own reasons take exception to. Considering that they came from an employee of a disability and aged care services provider providing services exclusively to people assessed by government assessors as in need of assistance others might deem them as inherently inappropriate.

I'm not sure of the basis on which I was assessed but I'm fortunate that my physical capacity is improving. I imagine most of that person's clientele would be permanently incapacitated and might interpret her remarks as patronising and stigmatising, resonating with the populist trope of the welfare bludger.

On no sorry @Dimity obviously not well communicated. I am not saying it's a reasonable statement. I am saying from the perspective of the person who says it, it might seem reasonable. That is due to their lack of understanding, just like the "snap yourself' out of depression statements.

I'm really sorry that I did not communicate that better. I definitely know it's not a reasonable statement, it's completely inappropriate especially from someone who should have more awareness about their "clients".

If that comment had been directed at me I would have been very upset. Regardless of whether it was a physical or psychological issue. This is why we need people to have better education and awareness about people (who may have a variety of conditions) that negative statements are never helpful. It's interesting that dog training has moved from being punitive training to positive reinforcement. Yet many in society don't seem to think the same for humans.

I hope you see this post soon. As I do not want to upset you.

Hey @NatureLover , I've been thinking about you a lot the past few days and wanted to check in with you. I know in the past, S.A.D. has been an issue. How are you at the moment?

Sorry I worded my response so strongly @Till23 I can be quite reactive and defensive. I probably upset you and I apologise.

It's just that every time that worker has come she's been critical. Before the provider sent anyone they provided a list of acceptable cleaning products and equipment and I had an in-house OHS assessment to ensure I complied but this worker insisted I restock with far more expensive stuff that was also on the list. And every time she's come she's told me I should be exerting myself more and doing everything myself although I had clear instructions and timelines from my surgeon and pelvic floor physiotherapy, together with lifetime restrictions. I told her many times I was following medical advice. I'd had a condition much worse than average prior to surgery then a very bad experience with surgery and its sequelae. Meanwhile the service provider suspended my home help for months due to their policy re hospitalisation followed by being short staffed. The last thing I needed was a self-righteous person who thought I didn't look disabled enough or geriatric enough to deserve help and just needed a stern talking-to. Every.Single.Time.

The second worker who's been a few times has been cheerful, friendly, hard-working, and non-judgemental.

Non-judgemental. That's important. Sometimes it's kindest to take people at face value and not interrogate them or bully them into spelling out their medical conditions and asking them exactly where it hurts. I feel able to say that here as a keyboard warrior but would be incapable of saying it to the person who was here in my house this morning.

I appreciate and respect that I feel I can be open with you @Till23 and that you allow me to explain myself. It's a great gift. Thankyou.