Any diagnosed germophobes or hoarders on this forum?

Hi @Dimity , thanks for your messages. No, no more surprises at work thankfully, just a long busy day. Then errands this morning. Now resting.

No wonder you feel worn out and unwell, mentally and physically. You've been through traumas recently. I'm sorry you're experiencing panic attacks and waking so often in the night 😥

Plus you have a busy week this week. I hope your 4 appts go well.

I accidentally slept in till 9am yesterday morning before work, so no time to reply to you. Then was exhausted after work.

I seem to be coping with the extra workday I did on Friday - but time will tell.

Not sure if you have an appt today, but it's a beautiful day outside, sunny and mild. I have a lot to do in the house though. Wasn't the rain glorious on Sunday - I bet it eased your mind about watering. Although I guess you wouldn't have been able to go for a walk.

Sending hugs 🫂

Thanks for your reply @NatureLover . I'm glad you're OK but I can understand your tiredness. Yes the weather has been lovely. And the BOM radar allowed me to time a walk just before dark on Sunday as the rain eased off... I wouldn't have risked it otherwise.

I'm a bit nervous about tomorrow. I'm using a transport service rather than a taxi and already regretting it after a mixup about addresses. It will be to see my surgeon. Actually I'm very nervous.

I'm glad you seem OK after your extra day but i hope you're looking after yourself, especially after feeling burnt out.

Hi @Dimity , am surprised and glad you got in a walk on the very rainy Sunday.

I hear you about being very nervous - I gather about the transport service plus seeing your surgeon? I'm sending wishes that both go well...

Yes, I'm resting a lot at home - resting most of my home time. That works well when I've got an interesting book, but not if not! It seems like another beautiful day outside. I plan to do laundry and clean around the kitchen sink area today.

I'm waking up all over the place - 9am on Monday, 8am today. I think I need to go back to setting my alarm at 6am every morning just to be regular.

Thinking of you with your stressful day 🤞

The transport driver turned up 40 mins early but the postop review went well.

Hope you can catch some sunshine and some reading.

I have both a literal and a metaphorical headache, my sister is a constant worry, she's ill and accident-prone. My passive SI is bad, I just don't want to be here any more unless I can make things better.

Sorry I've lost the plot. Someone reminded today of my delusions a few weeks ago. I haven't done chores for a couple of days. Autumn equinox tomorrow. I meant to launch into a new 6 week project of healing and tidying. Maybe I should just crawl into bed and hope tomorrow is better.

It's pretty late @Dimity so I reckon going to bed and getting some rest is a good strategy. You don't have to do everything at once. It's good to have a plan so there's something to aim for, but you can have a bit of wiggle room in it

I'm glad your appt with the surgeon went well @Dimity 👍

40 minutes early! What did you do? Will you use that transport service again?

I worry that you push yourself too hard. But then I read this morning how you don't want to be here any more, unless you can make things better, and I see why you push yourself. I'm just so sorry you have the passive SI 😥

I was quite taken aback when the driver arrived @NatureLover. He said he'd wait but we left after 10 minutes so I waited for ages when we got there. I really don't know that I'd use them again after they couldn't accept a simple street address and made it very complicated, demanding to know the name of the clinic and insisting on ringing my specialist to verify the details when I told them they'd made a mistake in wanting to take me to a private hospital nearby. I'd been nervous and hoped for help, not the quagmire of complications they came up with. I have trouble reading signposting sometimes but they destroyed my confidence even more.

Thanks for understanding my deep need to Try Harder. It's not a good feeling. I think I need help with it but it never works out

@Dimity.… hope all is good love, you are so kind, keep us updated please 🌹

@Dimity I'm shocked at how pushy your transport service was! Ringing your specialist! And wanting to take you somewhere else! 😯

I'm sorry that that turned out to be such a negative experience 😥

I'm going in to work today (yes, I know! Possibly foolish) as we lost power yesterday and I'm behind in my paperwork. Just for 2 or 3 hours. Then grocery shopping and library. I seemed to cope with the extra day last week, so I'm hoping I will cope again.

I am thinking of you in your bad place and sending wishes you feel a bit stronger very soon 🤞