Any diagnosed germophobes or hoarders on this forum?

Hey @NatureLover ,

Glad to hear the S.A.D is better. Hope you can do what you can while it lasts, eh? What have you been doing lately?

@Dimity , great to hear from you my friend.

Don't know if this is off topic, but I've been watching these Hoarders episodes. They were very very enlightening.

Hi @tyme , thanks for popping in!

That's the drawback at the moment - hardly any S.A.D. but I have burnout exhaustion. So really, in order to keep going to my volunteer job twice a week, all I've been doing for many months is laundry and watering the garden. Oh, and medical appts and seeing friends. Other than that I rest all the time.

The Hoarders shows are very much on topic for this thread! It hurts to get rid of every single item.

That's a bummer @NatureLover . I can see why you need to rest up, but I can also see the need to get out. Tough call at times when your mind wants to do something but duty calls to do another.

As for the Hoarders episodes, it really brings into rememberance the struggles I had as a younger person. I struggled with OCD in terms of checking behaviours. Later, it turned into collecting branded plastic bags as a memory of all the places i'd been. I've still got bags from overseas, shops that no longer exist, changes in bags for a company over the course of many years...

Only in January this year, when I returned to my childhood home interstate, I started throwing out some.... and yes, there were emotions attached.

I think I've only been able to throw out some of the bags because I'm in a much better place, mental health wise. I really feel I'm in a recovery phase. In my last two properties, I've been an absolute minimalist.

I feel that part of my checking and collecting was the need for 'control' because I was so emotionally out of control with my BPD....

Sorry if my post is triggering. I will edit/delete anything if it is triggering.

@Dimity @NatureLover

Not triggering for me, thanks @tyme .

You're a strange mix! Minimalist but attached to the bags. At least bags don't take up much room? Well done for throwing some out.

The need for control is a big one with OCD and Hoarding Disorder, you're right.

I don't keep any bags anymore. I don't keep anything to be honest.

Those bags and bags and bags were from my childhood home where my OCD was rampant...

The need for control back then was close to terrifying, and I was only a child. No one 'taught' me to feel that way or do what I did... @NatureLover

Yes, I realise you don't keep anything any more.

Doyou think keeping things is too triggering - reminding you of your childhood illness?

@tyme

I'm not sure. I think I've just 'changed'. Changed in the fact that I no longer 'need' the control over things. @NatureLover

That's great, @tyme 🙂

But to this day, I still remember the pain and torture @NatureLover The thoughts were so loud and real.

Yes, they are. I feel completely and urgently overwhelmed and panicky if for some reason I can't wash or sanitise my hands straight away. It's like an intense need that blots out everything else.

@tyme