Any diagnosed germophobes or hoarders on this forum?

Hi @Anastasia , when do you get the results of the NDIS review?

---

@Anastasia wrote:

Wishes for Dad

...for him especially to hold hope and stay positive and for him not to suffer please, thank you NL 🙏

---

Thanks for the direction, as I was unsure. Will do. 👍

Thanks for your wishes for the SAD. I know I must seem like a broken record about it, and about the weather. 😞 But it has such a huge effect on me as to whether I cope or not each day.

I had a good day at work and today have a lot of chores to do out and about. I'm down to one library book again which is an emergency! 😄 Books are a safety valve for me so I always need a few in stock to feel I can get through. Plus I need to do grocery shopping today, plus I need to pack up and send a lot of presents and cards both overseas and interstate today for Christmas and birthdays. Too much for one day but I hope I can prioritise...confused at present as to what to do. Will start with a walk before it rains.

Sorry to hear about the directive to work from the office from Dec 6th 😞 I know this will increase your stress levels 😞

Have you had any results yet from your recent medical tests?

Sending lots of ☕ and whatever you need to get through 💚

---

@Eve7 wrote:

I didn’t go to work after seeing pdoc this morning as I just couldn’t face seeing more people.

---

@Eve7 am hoping that today is a better day for you 💛

Pea you always warm my heart when I see your name...lovely to see you here 💚
@Bunniekins

@NatureLover

Hi beautiful @NatureLover,

I'm am feeling a bit overwhelmed...

So much on my mind and not much sleep. So what better time than to reply to your lovely message which I thank you for 💚

"Hi @Anastasia , when do you get the results of the NDIS review? "

Before the 14th of December. If it comes back "ridiculous" then we have 48 hours to put forward our case ...

It is alot to carry at present.

Really NEED for it just to fall into place 🙏

Then REALLY need for my boy to make good decisions and utilise his plan well.

My boy is being a nightmare and it's going to sound terrible but I am dreading what lays ahead. This girl in his life doesn't work so what was an almost impossible situation before is going to me more challenging around trying to instigate a much needed routine.

Work yesterday in the office was ridiculous with my IT hat on. I got there at 7 and left after 5 with no break due to other people's disorganisation and panic for me to do their urgents. As a result the dinner that was arranged with my bf that I was very much looking forward to was cancelled and I came home completely depleted. I pretty much lost a day of my admin work and now Monday trying to pick up my boy from hospital and do 8 hours catch up again just seem ridiculous. My only thought is a taxi to collect him but that doesn't sit well with me at all.

You said...

"Have you had any results yet from your recent medical tests?"

My test results are Tuesday at 2. The symptoms have diminished and the fact she hasn't called suggests it's not of concern but the appointment is just s omething else to fit in 😔

I might see if I can change to Telehealth as I have to go back in to the office Tuesday and Wednesday to ensure the IT work is finished and the systems are up and running as they should be.

You said...

"Thanks for your wishes for the SAD. I know I must seem like a broken record about it, and about the weather. But it has such a huge effect on me as to whether I cope or not each day"

Not at all @NatureLover, whilst I don't suffer with SAD myself I do understand how upsetting it is when our expectations aren't met. It can completely "rock our world" so I do get it and I definitely hear you. This weather has been particularly awful, I am sending wishes it turns a corner and you start to feel the SAD lift. Sending you wishes for exactly that ❤️

You said...

"I had a good day at work and today have a lot of chores to do out and about. I'm down to one library book again which is an emergency! Smiley Very Happy Books are a safety valve for me so I always need a few in stock to feel I can get through. Plus I need to do grocery shopping today, plus I need to pack up and send a lot of presents and cards both overseas and interstate today for Christmas and birthdays. Too much for one day but I hope I can prioritise...confused at present as to what to do. Will start with a walk before it rains"

Oh my goodness that is a lot!!! Yes it can be confusing as to where to start with so many chores and prioritising. I think you're a list person too, am I right?

I love lists.

For work I have an old school diary and I write down my to do's and cross off items as they are accomplished.

This serves two purposes.

It makes sure I don't forget and it gives me satisfaction to have completed the task. It also enables me to see an overall picture of what needs doing so I can prioritise what to do. It's the only way I get through as I have 20 colleagues all with their own priorities and agendas leaning on me for every whim and want.

If you don't do already do a list I honestly recommend giving it a go ✔️🗒️

You said...

"Sorry to hear about the directive to work from the office from Dec 6th I know this will increase your stress levels"

Thank you NL, yes it is necessary but gosh it's a challenge! Leaving my boy to "his own devices" is not going to be easy.

I am still focused on studying and I have made enquiries around how I can do this.

I can't rush the process so whilst I'd like to change jobs to something of lesser responsibility right now if I jump I will likely regret the decision, so all I can do is sit tight and be patient re study the study feelers I have out there.

I am on leave from work from 24 Dec so I only have to get through a few more weeks which will be ridiculously busy and hopefully by then I should know the outcome of the study feelers.

If they aren't possible then during my time off I will come up with a new way to make the study happen and reassess my work. Hope that makes sense?

I love that you love to read. I do too. I have to own up though and say I don't often.

I am time poor.

I am in the middle of a book at the moment which I am enjoying. It's actually written by my new therapist! I had my second session this week. She's just such a beautiful soul. I have taken a lot away so far.

I have books lined up to read so the intention is there but it's yet to become a reality.

What sort of books do you enjoy?

Libraries are fabulous aren't they?

I used to live near a big beautiful library when the boys were little. We would walk there with our library bags regularly and we would all hire books. Occasionally if I had the funds I would buy us all a drink from the coffee shop there as a treat, such wonderful memories with my sweet boys that I am smiling of remembering ❣️ Thank you for refreshing such a lovely memory during a time that my head is so full of just everything else.

My Dad's treatment starts on the 10th. It's 12 weeks of chemo. Two weeks of consecutive treatment and then one week off.

Then a scan at the end to see the outcome.

He's frail...

Mum rings in tears regularly...

My heart jumps a beat anytime she rings because up until now we have had few phone calls over the years.

I've always spoken to Dad.

She's deaf so it's difficult to say the least in the phone.

Christmas will be both a treasure and very sad I think. Mum wants to have it there still but obviously time will tell what we end up doing. Mum's European so we celebrate on the 24th. Mum's birthday is the 25th, crazy time.

What do you do for Christmas?

Do you have plans for the weekend?

My bf wants to take me out for dinner tonight to make up for last night. I need to do washing. My boy wants me to visit. I want to see Mum and Dad.

I also need to rest.

I think that pretty much sums everything up. I really hope you have a lovely weekend, full of all that you need to top up your beautiful soul. Take care dear NL 🙏

💚🌄☕🍒🍓🍇🥗🍜🌽🍉🍊🍌

Some good food choices for you 💚

Hello and hugs and much love also to @Bunniekins @ShiningStar @Eve7 @Emelia8 @HenryX aand all here. Enjoy your weekend.

@Emelia8 it breaks my heart your pain is unbearable. I am wondering if you can have another injection? I understand it doesn't completely rid you of the pain but I believe it helps?

February is a long wait for you to be living in such pain. Has he given you relief in the mean time?

@Eve7 I have had you in my heart the last couple of days as I am aware they are heartbreaking for you. How are you holding up sweetheart, are you as ok as can be?

Dear @Anastasia , no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed. Thanks for writing such a long newsy post. Am sending wishes in accordance with what you wrote about the NDIS review...and about your Dad's chemo and your Mum's phone calls...

I'm sorry that that girl doesn't work...I hear you about no routine and her being available to cause trouble interact with your boy at all hours. (I am trying to not write negative words about her!) - Does this girl drive?

I was alarmed by your 7am - 5pm work day yesterday with no break 😮 OMG, is that likely to happen again? It sounds like they need 2 people to do your job!

Thanks for your kind words and being patient with me about my SAD...it means a lot. In good news, there is a little sun picture on each day of the 7-day forecast for Melbourne, either partly or fully sunny! I hope, hope, hope that this knocks the SAD on its head!

In other good news, I managed to do all my chores yesterday and post all the Cmas and birthday presents overseas or interstate. I still have the interstate and local Cmas cards to do but they can wait a week or two. I actually don't do Cmas any more, due to the fact I hate it - growing up it was obscene and punishing and incredibly stressful, and I have so many reasons to hate it, too many to go into now, maybe some other time. I stopped doing Cmas about 5 years ago and it was such a relief! I do the Cmas presents for my niece and nephews and NSW family obviously, and Cmas cards for those people who require it, but that's all.

In the past I used to volunteer somewhere on Cmas Day, but last year and this year I will be doing nothing - just relaxing and talking on WhatsApp video calls to my family in NSW. Actually, I've just thought of something else - I imagine there will be distress on the forums on Cmas Day with a lot of family abuse in the background of people's MIs...I might be available for that. I think my psychologist will understand (re blowing out my time limits) but I might run it by her at my December appt.

Oops, got carried away! Yes, I'm a list person through and through. 👍🙂

Interesting about your study feelers...sounds like a good plan to see how that goes and then reassess your work.

---

@Anastasia wrote:

It's actually written by my new therapist! I had my second session this week. She's just such a beautiful soul. I have taken a lot away so far.

---

So happy to hear this!

I like a wide variety of books, novels mostly, thrillers and mysteries as long as they're not gory...I particularly like serious novels about child abuse, trauma, tragedy, etc. ...I think because of my abusive background. And twins! I'm fascinated by stories about twins, for some reason 🙂

Will you let us know the results of your medical tests on Tuesday after 2?

Thanks for all the healthy food choices - I've put "nice fruit" on my shopping list in order to try and tempt myself to eat fruit every day.

Hoping that despite your busy weekend and all the demands on your time that you get some time to yourself this weekend, just to 'be'.

Much 💚

Good Afternoon @NatureLover @Anastasia

Your newsy posts are very inspiring to me so I will try and send you some sort of similar response as a catch up.

Yesterday was awful but it's over now and I ripped the day off the calendar so I didn't have to look at the date anymore. Thursday night I did something really stupid but that is past now and hopefully I'm moving on until the next event.

We postponed the family Thanksgiving dinner until tomorrow which now gives the turkey a chance to thaw and the pumpkin pies are being baked. S2 has an American wife which is the main reason we do Thanksgiving but my father had an ancestor on the Mayflower so we have an extra reason to claim this American feast day in our family.

I caught up with some girlfriends this morning but I didn't go for a run as I switched off the alarm and slept for an extra hour. Our breakfast get togethers are always full of interesting news (theirs not mine) which often gives us a good laugh as well as talking about our aches and pains and the "organ recital" that comes with ageing bodies. One of my friends wanted me to stay on longer for another cuppa as she was meeting a man and thought if I was there too he'd get the hint she just wants to be friends. Who would guess that men would start to come back into our conversations since all of us in the brekky group are now on our own. I am not in the slightest bit interested in meeting anyone but I must admit this man is really lovely so my friend has done well.

I also bought my fruit and veg at the markets and two pairs of sandals so I'll be staying home the rest of the weekend and not spending any more $$.

It's strange how I can take part in something so seemingly "normal" and yet feel so disocciated at the same time. I often wonder if my friends think I'm really weird but are too poite to say so.

I read a book recently called Island Wife by Judy Fairbairn about how she had married and gone to live on one of those freezing islands off the coast of Scotland. They bought a farm with a great big house that they ran as a BnB in the "summer". I think she may have had SAD as she writes about going to the Dr for antidepressant scripts every winter but as soon as "summer" arrived she'd tell the Dr she didn't have time to be miserable with all 5 kids home and guests coming to stay. It was a great story and I admire anyone who could live that type of life but gee she worked hard all summer and it's no wonder she crashed in the winter.

That's my wrap for the day and I hope you are both doing ok. I have daughter in law doing all the work for Thanksgiving tomorrow so that will just leave the family Christmas for me to host.

Love you both and @Emelia8 and anyone else passing by.

💚💛❤🧡💙💜

@Eve7 thank you for your newsy catch-up, I really liked it - despite the fact that Thursday night and Friday were bad days for you 😞

I don't like Christmas, but Thanksgiving is a holiday I could really get behind. And not just for the pumpkin pies 😄 Happy Thanksgiving for today as you celebrate it.

I was somehow very impressed that you stayed behind to meet your friend's gentleman friend and that you thought he was lovely. It struck me as a win-win all round. I am like you in that I'm happy being single. The thought of a partner gives me the shudders. I know that's a lot to do with my germophobia and other MIs, plus my fierce independence, plus my childhood abuse which is still there to a lesser degree these days.

---

@Eve7 wrote:

It's strange how I can take part in something so seemingly "normal" and yet feel so disocciated at the same time.

---

I'm sorry to hear about the dissociation - not sure if you mean feeling detached /unconnected, or full-on blanking out?

Interesting you read a book about SAD. I do like books that mention /are about MI conditions. I think it's good that novels are increasingly mentioning MIs. Not always in a healthy way - for instance if the MIs are untreated and the character commits crimes or is a nasty character. But sometimes the novels are sensitively done, even if they don't go far enough to my mind.

I like thinking of you up there in sunny Qld with the lush gardens and beaches. I know you moved from your gorgeous garden at the house, but does your apartment have a garden?

Hoping that today with Thanksgiving and family is a good day for you. Much 💛

Thank you both @NatureLover and @Eve7 for your messages and Eve for your news, I loved hearing about you both. I have nothing to add today but don't want to ignore you. Awful day yesterday, no sleep, headache and frightened about my boy coming home tomorrow 😔

Love to you both 💚

Stay in the present @Anastasia and worry about tomorrow when it comes.

Lots of love 💛