NhojCasual Contributor
How to support my partner?
I have been with my partner for 18months and she has been suffering from some form of mental illness for over 2 years. She shared this with me after seeing each other for a couple of months. Across our time together we have tried various modes of support, she has seen several psychologists but none of which have been able to make a difference. I attended one of her sessions with a psychologist and it became quite apparent to me that the psychologist wasn't taking the scale of my partners depression/anxiety seriously, she virtually told her that she was doing fine and offered no thoughts on the matter. I am not sure exactly what she is suffering from but at times she does appear quite fine, she is very high functioning but she is easily triggered into an incredibly dark state, much more than appropriate. She seems to rapidly lose a sense of rationality and becomes extremely distressed. This has continued across our time together and does not appear to be getting any better but there is an increased strain on our relationship. She does not have any other avenues of support, she comes from a broken family who have treated her terribly and have been emotionally abusive and negligent. She struggles to trust anyone, including myself, despite my continued support. I'm am starting to come to a loss though, as she is becoming more regularly distressed and quite often directs this at me. I feel as if we go to sleep on one path and wake up on another. She does need help but is feeling increasingly hopeless. She is a lovely person but feels that noone else values her and is easily let down by others. She doesnt think she can rely on anyone and doesn't have any close friends. I have tried to encourage her into different social networks but she always seems to be let down and becomes increasingly depressed. She often complains about not feeling like her old self and can often shift this blame on to me. I sometimes worry that by caring for her I have had a negative impact but she has noone else and I am also fearful of her feeling abondoned if I stopped supporting her. I feel like I am often put in unwinable situations. I feel like I really need her to show me support as I feel I have just given for the entirety of our relationship. Im not sure where to turn to next but without some help I dont feel like I can provide any answers when she has her next struggling moment. It's a really hard situation as she is not always completley negative and I think this makes her scenario appear like an illusion to those who aren't with her when she is struggling. When she is distressed it is very concerning.
