I need advice please

@Define_normal Personally I would offer to help her find alternative accommodation, if you feel she is untrustworthy then you probably don’t want her living in your house as that can bring many possibilities including leagal issues later particular if she stays for a while. They are her kids and they aren’t your responsibility if you are that worried about their wellbeing then there are services that deal with that sort of thing as well. I am not trying to sound harsh but if she is toxic as you say then it is probably safer to keep her at a distance and living with you just seems like a bit of a red flag to me, that said I don’t know this person or the full situation but if you do want to help I would say try and help connect her with appropriate services.

Hey @Define_normal It might sound harsh, but I wouldn't be taking on extra people with that history between you. With things the way they are now, you really need to have control over how you manage social withdrawal for your family and it sounds like a fair bit of chaos follows her around. I hope you don't mind me telling it how I see it, just my opinion. I get that you're concerned for her children, but you have to put your own first. It would be different alltogether if it were someone you could trust and you knew they would respect you in your home, someone who hadn't been out of your life for so long.

Sorry I probably don't know you well enough to say all this - hope you don't mind.

@Define_normal I Personally would say to her to find alternative accommodation,

because

1) of her past history with you

and also

2) with this virus around , you don`t know who her family have been in contact with and it might be passed on to your house

very hard and sending you hugs

Thankyou @Eden1919 , and @eth,

I have given here a few numbers that can help with emergency accomodation and managed to get her to agree to contact the kids fathers, 1 has said they would prefer i just call cps as they dont believe her when she said the child is his and the youngest's father has asked me to organise with her where to meet up apparently he has been organsing to get custody since they split. I will call cps if i cant get someone to collect the other child as it honestly surprises me she has them after the incident with her eldest 2 years ago. (I was just told by the youngest's father why she does not have all her kids)

Yes @Shaz51 , i am organising alternatives that does not put my family at risk. I have managed to get in contact with one of the kids father

Hi @Define_normal

It is quite a dilemma when someone is asking you this. I think @Shaz51 @eth and @Eden1919 have given great advice. With the virus it is probably best not to have her in your house plus the history between the two of you.

Even though she is probably good at laying the guilt on, you need to put yourself first and do what is best for you.

There is emergency accomodation out there that will take her.

Glad you tagged me 💖

Well done @Define_normal . Stay strong. It may well be for the best for the kids in the long run.

Hi @Define_normal

I agree 100% with all the other advice offered here. It's wonderful that you have the empathy and compassion that you do for her kids, but your first and most important responsibility is to your own household.

Helping to get support around those kids is fantastic, without risking your own situation, and it sounds like supporting youngest dad to gain custody is also really important.

it can be really tough, but sometimes losing things they value is the only way people who are unwell can find the path to diagnosis, treatment, support, life-balance, healthy behaviours and relationships, and wellness.

@Define_normal I would tell her that you ar enot able to have her stay. Sounds as if she is not a very responsible person and even more at this time we do not need more of that. Give her the number or name of your local child welfare dept who can arrange for her kids to go somewhere. And for her the local refuge or a charity if there is one. The welfare department should already be aware of her case with the kids in foster care. And as you say she breached many parts of her lease she is obviously not someone you should have there as you do not want to risk your home too