Unpacking. Sharing some internal thoughts.

I haven't posted here before. My name is Madi, and I have been struggling with mental illness for what feels like forever but lately I have been feeling really down and thinking some scary things.

The current crisis isn't helping. I haven't truly felt anxious for the past 5/6-ish years. But now I feel anxiety constantly. Impulse control is really difficult during these times and I find myself making some poor decisions, the repercussions of which are resulting in more anxiety.

I live with my partner, out of home, and sometimes don't feel entirely supported - he tries, but he doesn't understand so it's hard for both of us sometimes when I get into a rut and am very depressed.

Is anyone else just feeling a constant feeling of dread, and the anxiety that comes with being powerless and not being able to do anything about it?