Maybe I do have DID.

@Lemonjuice

You are not "carrying on" at all. I hear you but I am on the other side. I was diagnosed 10+ years ago and am now questioning it.

@Former-Member when and if you want to say what happened, I would like to hear about it.

Hi @Lemonjuice

I am not sure where to even start. I have never spoken with anyone that has DID before and didn't know how to ask here if someone would talk to me about it.

I have been reading through posts here by others that have DID and questioning mine. I don't seem to present anything close really to what everyone describes.

@Former-Member maybe it would help if you started by saying what symptoms are worrying you.

@Lemonjuice

I do lose time, but I can hear and see what is happening like I am watching a film. There is only a hand full of times since the diagnosis where I can't remember what has happened

My "alters" are just me at different ages and they all have names. I have always had an imaginary friend called Nikki from as young as I can remember and have been told she is my protector. I don't understand that at all.

My kids don't notice any difference in me when it's not me around and my ex said it's because even when it's my inner child in front of the children I sound no different but to him I am a three yr or whatever age.

@Lemonjuice

I feel like I am living a lie. Maybe my stepmom is right and I am an attention seeking brat who doesn't want to take responsibility for her life and mistakes

@Former-Member what is it that makes you think that you might not have DID?

@Former-Member maybe, we put your stepmother to one side for now. She's wrong but for now let's ignore her.

I just feel like it's all made up. I listen to myself and feeling like it's all a huge game of pretend. When I get stressed I turn into someone else, when I get overwhelmed I am someone else and when I am craving attention I turn into a child. When my husband (ex) is around inner child is very active. It just doesn't seem real to me anymore.

@Former-Member I know what you mean, cause I am in a similar situation. There are times when I feel and think this isn't true, I must have created the whole thing and other times it feels very real. I think this is because we expect that it should look like it does on movies, ie, States of Tara...really extreme, with total amnesia between alters, etc. Then I got to thinking that there are milder versions of bipolar, schizophrenia, etc, why not with DID, where it can be very extreme and obvious, to barely noticeable and occuring only when there is a lot of stress. Also, the level of amnesia, it could be mild to extreme cognitively or/and emotionally. And then, DID is a creative way to deal with trauma, why does there have to be one way of arranging alters, the trauma experience. Maybe for some it was better to have complete splits, with no general host, for others, several alters acting as hosts together and others where it's one alter at a time. For me, it's like a level fluid on the surface and it changes colour when a lower level breakes into that surface level and changes back but there is very rare times where the two levels swapped position. So, I am D, but I don't switch with J, J just 'flavours' D and talks through her. We coukd switch but it would take a lot of effort and the right situation. Does that sound similar to you?