Why is everything so hard?

It feels like a good, together life is right there. So close but out of reach. I'm not completely behind at school but I've got a lot of work and am completely unmotivated. I'm talking to people and doing things to get better, but I still struggle to go to sleep even when I'm exhausted and to wake up and get to school. I have friends who make me really happy but it's such a big effort to organise and to hang out and manage my time. The whole world just feels inorganised and I hate it, I feel like I'm trying but at the same time it would be so much easier to not. Why are there so many things why is it so hard, I dint want to fall apart