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Unknown userMember
I woke up worse than when I went to bed last night. I went to bed with suicidal thoughts, images and feeling a strong pull to just give into them. But what I want now is just horrible and part of me feels completely ashamed and the other part is like it's what we know and it will help. Right now I want to find someone to put me in my place, to make me beg for them to stop right now I don't even have to know them. I am not ok
In response to: Not ok
JupiterSenior Contributor
Hey @Former-Member
It sounds like things are really difficult right now. I'm sorry to hear you have woken up feeling worse than you did last night. I'm going to send you a quick email to check in with you 
In response to: Not ok
Unknown userMember
Hi @Former-Member .
I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling and you have suicidal thoughts. Please check the email that @Jupiter sent you for one thing. And of course, please don't harm yourself and do anything that you shouldn't. Trust me, I deal with suicidal thoughts too and I know how hard it is to ignore them and not do anything.
You're stronger mentally and physically than you think, and we want you to be OK. We love and care about you and we're here to support you, myself included. Please look at the following, as these are Crisis Services and may be able to assist you more. The forums are a good supportive place but they're not Crisis Services however.
Lifeline: www.lifeline.org.au
13 11 14
*Web chat service.
*Text service.
*Phone service.
Suicide Call Back Service: www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au
1300 659 467
*Web chat service.
*Skype Session service.
*Phone Service.
Emergency Services: 000
In response to: Re: Not ok
Unknown userMember
@Former-Member
Thank you for those links. I have corresponded with @Jupiter this morning. I know the forums aren't a crisis line, I really just needed someone to hear me this morning. It's been a rough couple of months and my biggest supporter is gone I just didn't know what to do. I feel so isolated at the moment and struggle to let people in because they will just leave. I am finding the forums a little bit like a live line, where I don't have to sugarcoat how I am feeling like I do everyday to the people around me. Sorry if my post was Inappropriate
In response to: Re: Not ok
Unknown userMember
Hey @Former-Member , you don't need to be sorry, you have nothing to apologise for. Your post wasn't innappropriate, sorry if I was a bit abrupt or something, I didn't mean to be. I was just trying to say you're more than welcome here because these forums are a supportive, safe, friendly, caring place, but wanted to give you some more suggestions. Sorry.
I'm always here if you need me. I'm sorry that your biggest supporter as you say is gone, that's so sad. You're always welcome on the forums. No you don't have to sugarcoat anything, you're allowed to say how you feel and so forth here.
I understand the feeling of isolation and struggling to trust people, tell people things, and so forth. I'm sorry you feel that way too. Sometimes it helps knowing that you're not alone, it's sad but it can help sometimes.
Take care, I'm sorry if I did something wrong and made you feel pushed away, that wasn't my intention, I was just worried about you, I feel bad now, I'm sorry.
In response to: Re: Not ok
Unknown userMember
Welcome to the forums @Former-Member . Feeling that you need to put on a good face or sugar coat things all of the time can be exhausting. Hopefully as you become more familiar with folks on here you'll find that this is an accepting environment in which you can communicate more openly. It looks as though both @Former-Member and Jupiter were concerned for you – I don't think they meant to suggest that your post was inappropriate in any way. Again, welcome and we look forward to seeing you around the forums.
In response to: Re: Not ok
Unknown userMember
@Former-Member
OHHH NO, don't feel bad you said nothing wrong and if that's how my reply made you feel then I am sorry.
Being this open is new to me and even though I have read the guidelines I do worry about what I should post. You are very right it helps to know that I am not really alone.
my bestest supporter was my husband he he lived through my DID alongside of me even before we where are couple and when I would meltdown he was there, knowing almost always the right thing to say and do to help me. But he left and while he is still my best friend, the dynamic has changed.
PLEASE PLEASE don't feel bad
In response to: Re: Not ok
Unknown userMember
It's okay @Former-Member , you didn't do anything wrong, that's just me being paranoid that I upset you. As @Former-Member said, @Jupiter and I were just giving you some more websites to check out aswell as here, these forums are moderated 24/7 I believe.
i'm sorry about your husband.
In response to: Re: Not ok
Shaz51Senior Contributor
hello and hugs @Former-Member 
how are you tonight my friend
In response to: Re: Not ok
Unknown userMember
@Shaz51
Thank you and hugs right back at you.
they have changed my anti depressants so dealing with the gross side effects. Trying hard to use the flashback tips I was given here and from the Beauty after Bruises website that was recommended by my Counsellor. But honestly I feel so lost and stuck and entirely not sure if it's all with it.
thank you for checking in with me💖
In response to: Re: Not ok
Unknown userMember
Hi @Former-Member , just checking in with you. How are you today? I hope you feel better today and have a good day, or just a day, that's okay too.
Take care, I'm thinking of you.
Oh and I've never heard of that website, I'll check it out, thanks.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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