Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

@MDT hey Hamza, may be go to gym and out with friends coz lifting lockdown soon. It will fall in place for you

Hi @MDT I think focus on interacting with others, home and work and noticing the changes you have already made. Dr Phil says you can only change yourself when your in a relationship. It's definitely something to work at your whole life being part of a community etc..idk

@MDT

Your last long post was a genuine summing up of our situation. I was very sad to read that even in your generation the religious take on things made relationships scary and warped the attitude of what girls and women actually are. It was good you know yourself enough to be clear about all that ... but i would ditch the "loser" word. I hate it. My aunt who is a teacher used it a lot, and I think it is more of a teen level thinking. DOnt turn it against yourself. The good thing about your deep thinking is your research and articulate nature ... find the level where you might be over doing it ... and yes get out and have some fun.

Good Clean fun ... can be a thing. Unfortunately in my life I had all the bad fun thrown at me, but I got out of it in my early 20s and never regretted it, both sides of experience. Believe you deserve and plan fulfilling activities for yourself ... some might be old ... but try a few new things too ...

I also can see some similar struggles my son has ... becoming defensive about being a white privileged male etc ... when really there are still a lot of issues and struggles ... just to exist and navigate a complicated world. Maybe you have not war or racism, but as you say, there is a history and there are many expectations. Yes the world is more complicated than it was....

Move out if it is viable. You are around the right age. It could give you satisfactions you did not know you could feel. Keep and cherish your good family either way, living with them or not. In ye olde days ... peep had family responsibilities by early 20s ... mostly it was too much for most people ... things do change ... be patient with life and yourself. Religion has it pluses and minuses. Parents send kids to private schools mostly to give them a better life than they had ... dont let the reactionary aspect of religion get to you.

I never took the "loser" word personally ... cos I won some even if I lost some ... people's judgements do matter ... as they form the basis of our social life ... but people who think that way ... are not likely to add much value to your life anyway.

Mix a lil bit of ethics with lil bit of star wars ...and a lil seriousness with a lil humour ...

Hams ... you can abide ... you do the inner and outer work .... man.

@MDT I hear you and feel you. I won't give you advice or tell you what you should do, but I want you to know that being able to share your deepest feelings, which you do so articulately here, is a very special quality in a man (you to @Adge ). Sooner or later someone who appreciates that quality sincerely will come into your life. Actually it's what a lot of women are looking for. In my life I always met the best people when I stopped looking. You are into lots of interests too. Have you heard of 'meet ups' ? It's not for dating, but is for all sorts of groups with special interests - a really wide range of them. If you are interested you could google it for your area. You never know who you might meet doing something like that, and being into similar pastimes is a really good foundation for special friendships or relationships to grow. Take care. You are special in the nicest way and much apreciated here.

the Hams Abides thanks @Appleblossom

@MDT have a good day, Hamza.