FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Hi all.

I have made a new thread here. I need to do this to make it feel real and important or else it'll just be another comment I make on an already existing thread. There are many areas in my life where I feel like giving up. I don't really care how irrational it may sound. I don't care if it's silly. It's just how it is for me at the moment.

I've never been as good as what I am now (on paper) and I put that down to the supportive environment here on the forums.


But I am struggling again.

There are many things on my mind and in my life that are causing me to rethink a lot of what I thought I knew about family and friends. I need to review some things again.

I am also getting lazy around my physical health and diet. I eat a lot more rubbish and I've put on some weight (in the bad way). I used to be quite skinny but then I went to the gym and sorted that out. But lately I have had 0 motivation for exercise because I find it so boring. It's just really boring. I have no enjoyment in it anymore. I think I never really did, but I did it just to be healthy. Now I just don't care. I don't see any utility in doing it anymore.

I feel like giving up on dating. There are just too many fake people in the world and I am exhausted by it. I am also thinking that my lack of relationship in early 20s and late teens is a turn off for many girls my age. I'm trying to see the benefits in my situation but I don't believe there are any.

My sister's health is progressively getting worse. So is her social health. She is having fights with her friends. Mum babies her about a lot. It's not helping. Dad has given up I think. And he is also likely doing "things" behind my mum's back and she is turning a blind eye to it. I have no input on any of that so I simply have to sit by and watch it go down.

I hate my job but getting money is important. I had this conversation with my parents the other day. They seem to have the belief that I can get into something I want to do. I don't. I am trying to find the light and the way forward with that but I don't know how they can see it. I have a desire to go into journalism/writing. But that environment is so political and I don't think I'm able to "pick a side". My internship taught me how I can do it. But it's just such an effort. I don't know if I have the stamina to get there.

I think that's all I can think of for now. I am sitting here on my pc playing a videogame and waiting for food to arrive. I am worried I will just get worse if nothing is done. But that urgency seems small compared to anything else I can do.

In a nutshell - I am not well.

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @greenpea @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @EOR @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Aeiou @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Sherry @Dec @Queenie @utopia @musicfanatic_x

@Scarecrowe

4456 replies

671 - 680 of 4,456

In response to: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

sorry its such a tough day @MDT your almost finished for the day so hang tight till then. lunch break will give you a chance for a breather.
I hear you on the relationships, never really had one either so im not to much help im afraid

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Thanks @outlander

Yeah lunch is 30 mins these days. I am allowed 1 hour. But i leave 30 mins earlier instead. It's a better trade off I think.

Relationships are a funny are a for me. But i will post more about it later I think.

Other than that it's a bad day. They come and go.

I am beginning to think I need my own place as a coping mechanism maybe.

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

maybe it would be a good idea to look for your own place. it would give you freedom and independence @MDT

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Indeed @outlander
It may be a few hurdles away but I guess I can look for that on the horizon

I'd need full time work

In response to: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

hi @MDT

i found it incredably difficult and stressful, seeing all my friends find partners and seeing everyone have a good time while i was just a ghost in the background. no woman ever found me attractive or was ever interested in me. i had a lot of pressure from family and friends and strangers.

people saying there was something wrong with me, time was running out, don't i want kids and if not why not. people seem to have this idea that you get married in your early 20's have kids and a house and everything is a fairytale from then on. life does not work that way.

i even thought there was something wrong with me. that i was not attractive or attracted to anyone. i was too scared to ask women out and i was terrified of having any children, i want my family name to end with me. i don't want the shame of my family to continue on.

i have never been intimate with anyone, im still a virgin and i have come to terms with that, i know the pressures from your friends and family and i know you must be questioning yourself too. i have been there my friend.

i gave up completely on relationships and thought i would die alone. then i met my partner on a online forum and we have been happy ever since. life really does throw some curve balls and things happen when we least exect them too.

don't question yourself or let others make you feel like you are less of a person for not being in a relationship. you are a good person and weather you find someone or you don't just enjoy life. that is all any of us can do.

im here anytime you want to talk mate. please try not to put too much pressure on yourself

In response to: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Best talk to father or someone who can rationalise it a bit @MDT
You're not responsible for how others act at work
Give it a chance lest you regret it maybe re money anyway

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Hey @Jacques
Thanks for sharing that.
Especially about your history. I am glad to hear you met someone on a forum. That's great.

You know I agree that people can be quite judgey.
I think my parents may have thought I was gay. My sister may be she said the other day.

Personally I know I am straight. But i am just still very intimidated by intimacy. I actually put this down to some bad experiences at school which will be the subject of a post I make very soon. It'll be honest. But i do believe that the experiences at school had some elements on my behaviour and self image.

It's a long story. That's why it needs it's own post I think.

Anyway. Thanks again for sharing. It helped me a bit.

Btw did you like The Prestige ?

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Hey @MDT just wanted to say I'm reading along and thinking of you.

Work. Sometimes feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I just hang in there, but it often gets me down.

And yes, relationship stuff can be so hard.

When I'm wobbly, I felt/sometimes feel like there's something wrong with me because my experience does not conform to the commonly projected norm. There is a lot of pressure to conform and it doesn't help. There is no playbook for this stuff, and I think that the diversity of experience leaves a lot of people feeling like they are on the outer.

That is probably no help, but I get that it's really hard.

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

your welcome @MDT your not alone mate.

yes i have had many comments about my s exuality too, i know im straight too.

i know past experiances can form our future relationships, i know being abused when i was 8 has shaped my whole life up to now.

please be gentle with yourself and focus on your own wellbeing

hey i have not had time to get back to the movie, but i will try tonight

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Yes @frog I agree.

The diversity of experience says a lot.

No 2 people are the same.
671 - 680 of 4,456