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Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

MDTSenior Contributor14 Mar 2020, 7:06 pm AEDT

Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Hi all.

I have made a new thread here. I need to do this to make it feel real and important or else it'll just be another comment I make on an already existing thread. There are many areas in my life where I feel like giving up. I don't really care how irrational it may sound. I don't care if it's silly. It's just how it is for me at the moment.

I've never been as good as what I am now (on paper) and I put that down to the supportive environment here on the forums.

But I am struggling again.

There are many things on my mind and in my life that are causing me to rethink a lot of what I thought I knew about family and friends. I need to review some things again.

I am also getting lazy around my physical health and diet. I eat a lot more rubbish and I've put on some weight (in the bad way). I used to be quite skinny but then I went to the gym and sorted that out. But lately I have had 0 motivation for exercise because I find it so boring. It's just really boring. I have no enjoyment in it anymore. I think I never really did, but I did it just to be healthy. Now I just don't care. I don't see any utility in doing it anymore.

I feel like giving up on dating. There are just too many fake people in the world and I am exhausted by it. I am also thinking that my lack of relationship in early 20s and late teens is a turn off for many girls my age. I'm trying to see the benefits in my situation but I don't believe there are any.

My sister's health is progressively getting worse. So is her social health. She is having fights with her friends. Mum babies her about a lot. It's not helping. Dad has given up I think. And he is also likely doing "things" behind my mum's back and she is turning a blind eye to it. I have no input on any of that so I simply have to sit by and watch it go down.

I hate my job but getting money is important. I had this conversation with my parents the other day. They seem to have the belief that I can get into something I want to do. I don't. I am trying to find the light and the way forward with that but I don't know how they can see it. I have a desire to go into journalism/writing. But that environment is so political and I don't think I'm able to "pick a side". My internship taught me how I can do it. But it's just such an effort. I don't know if I have the stamina to get there.

I think that's all I can think of for now. I am sitting here on my pc playing a videogame and waiting for food to arrive. I am worried I will just get worse if nothing is done. But that urgency seems small compared to anything else I can do.

In a nutshell - I am not well.

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @greenpea @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @EOR @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Aeiou @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Sherry @Dec @Queenie @utopia @musicfanatic_x

@Scarecrowe

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In response to: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

MDTSenior Contributor24 Apr 2020, 4:47 pm AEST

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

See above photo

@outlander @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Appleblossom @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Angels333 @Sophia1 @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear
@Ant7 @Adge @Former-Member @Owlunar @Scarecrowe @Dani1981 @Molliex @Jacques

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

ethSenior Contributor24 Apr 2020, 5:00 pm AEST

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Gorgeous @MDT Does he live at your place?

In response to: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Zoe7Senior Contributor24 Apr 2020, 5:03 pm AEST

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

I would be really annoyed at your Dad too if I was you @MDT He has no right to put you in that position - it is your workplace not his and whatever your feelings him interferring just adds to the pressure for you ...in fact I would be really angry with him - grrr!

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

MDTSenior Contributor24 Apr 2020, 5:18 pm AEST

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

He does I think @eth
Haha

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

AdgeSenior Contributor24 Apr 2020, 5:34 pm AEST

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Very nice @MDT

Pazza the Parrot looks like a King Parrot.

I'm familiar with those, from growing up in NSW.

There used to be lots of them in the Blue Mountains.

There are none here (in WA) - we don't have many of the eastern Parrot species.

We have our own weird (unique) parrots over here....

Adge

In response to: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

JacquesSenior Contributor24 Apr 2020, 6:13 pm AEST

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

hi @MDT sounds like things are really getting on top of you, these are the times we need to find the small things in life that bring us joy, i nice breeze on our skin, the way the sun shines through the trees, a bee gathering pollin.

i hope you can find a solution to your coding troubles. i have trained in web sesign and management and it can be a nightmare trying to work with others on the technical and the graphical side of things.

take care

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

OwlunarSenior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 12:32 pm AEST

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Wow - what a photo @MDT

I had to look at it very carefully and extend the frame because I really saw what you had posted - so great that you caught that - and so good you posted it

A few days ago I could hear a different sort of bird sound - and eventually saw two or three green parakeets in the tree next door - hidden because they were cleverly camoflaged

I had tried to get a photo of a ring-necked dove that uses my bird bath - or maybe more correctly to her bird bath - but she flies off if I go outside - she does come back for any food I leave for her - I only leave it there for a short while because of the local infestation of less desirable mammals in this area

I love birds though - I had a owl here one night - she never came back after that night - I think she must have been lost - but there is a photo here somewhere - it was unusal -

Thanks for that Hamza

Dec

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

MDTSenior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 7:53 pm AEST

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

@outlander @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Appleblossom @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Angels333 @Sophia1 @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear
@Ant7 @Adge @Former-Member @Owlunar @Scarecrowe @Dani1981 @Molliex @Jacques

I kind of cracked the sh*** tonight. My parents bicker over taking care of my sister as if she is incapable. She isn't. Dad seems to avoid bringing things up and mum babies my sister to no end. She will have diabetes in ten years I swear to god..

I cracked it at both of them before when they were being pissy over who went to make sure my sister was okay. I told them they were pathetic and one day I will have to be the one to do things at this rate. I used a few swear words as well. I was very upset at them.

I think I do agree with my dad that a bit of tough love is needed. But my mum just gets annoyed by that.

Anyway. Just needed to rant.

In my own world I want to quit my job, they denied me leave next week and my colleague takes a health leave as an excuse.

Not ideal. It's poorly run. But it's money in the bank and I am aiming at cutting silly spending. That's a good habit I think. Last week I only bought lunch 1 time at work. That was my usual excuse to leave the building before covid19. But as I have gone by this past month I've just adapted to local conditions - they move me about the department each month you see.

Sorry forumites. I know today is meant to be a solemn day but I needed to vent this out there

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

MeowmySenior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 8:03 pm AEST

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

@MDT hey Hamsolo,take care.It will get better.

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

outlanderSenior Contributor25 Apr 2020, 8:15 pm AEST

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

sounds like a really tough day @MDT

if its ok can I ask if your sister has physical/mental ailments (or something else) that might be causing her to be babied?

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