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Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

MDTSenior Contributor14 Mar 2020, 7:06 pm AEDT

Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Hi all.

I have made a new thread here. I need to do this to make it feel real and important or else it'll just be another comment I make on an already existing thread. There are many areas in my life where I feel like giving up. I don't really care how irrational it may sound. I don't care if it's silly. It's just how it is for me at the moment.

I've never been as good as what I am now (on paper) and I put that down to the supportive environment here on the forums.

But I am struggling again.

There are many things on my mind and in my life that are causing me to rethink a lot of what I thought I knew about family and friends. I need to review some things again.

I am also getting lazy around my physical health and diet. I eat a lot more rubbish and I've put on some weight (in the bad way). I used to be quite skinny but then I went to the gym and sorted that out. But lately I have had 0 motivation for exercise because I find it so boring. It's just really boring. I have no enjoyment in it anymore. I think I never really did, but I did it just to be healthy. Now I just don't care. I don't see any utility in doing it anymore.

I feel like giving up on dating. There are just too many fake people in the world and I am exhausted by it. I am also thinking that my lack of relationship in early 20s and late teens is a turn off for many girls my age. I'm trying to see the benefits in my situation but I don't believe there are any.

My sister's health is progressively getting worse. So is her social health. She is having fights with her friends. Mum babies her about a lot. It's not helping. Dad has given up I think. And he is also likely doing "things" behind my mum's back and she is turning a blind eye to it. I have no input on any of that so I simply have to sit by and watch it go down.

I hate my job but getting money is important. I had this conversation with my parents the other day. They seem to have the belief that I can get into something I want to do. I don't. I am trying to find the light and the way forward with that but I don't know how they can see it. I have a desire to go into journalism/writing. But that environment is so political and I don't think I'm able to "pick a side". My internship taught me how I can do it. But it's just such an effort. I don't know if I have the stamina to get there.

I think that's all I can think of for now. I am sitting here on my pc playing a videogame and waiting for food to arrive. I am worried I will just get worse if nothing is done. But that urgency seems small compared to anything else I can do.

In a nutshell - I am not well.

@outlander @oceangirl @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @TAB @greenpea @BlueBay @Meowmy @Everan @Teej @Appleblossom @eudemonism @frog @eth @Gazza75 @Everan @EOR @Angels333 @Doglover @Sophia1 @saturnzoon @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Aeiou @Molliex @Smc
@Ant7 @Adge @Sherry @Dec @Queenie @utopia @musicfanatic_x

@Scarecrowe

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In response to: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

MDTSenior Contributor05 Oct 2020, 4:20 pm AEDT

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

@Emelia8 @Anastasia @TAB (Sitting by too)

You know I think in my own world I've changed. I just sometimes think about where I was say 9 years ago after completing school. I was a different person then. Very different. In many ways.

My workplace has taught me a lot about life. The people I have worked with comes from many walks of life. Some are only just out of high school and some are in their 50s. Others their 30s and others their 40s. Others are close to me in age. It's a litmus test of society I think.

In July I did dry July and avoided alcohol. Then in August I wanted to do something similar so I started to to avoid getting the poos with people. By understanding that every person has their own story and their own life i was able to look past petty things and people who were rude or angry with me for no justifiable reason.

My psych told me last time time that there are many men in their 40s he sees (my psych is 30) who wish they were younger. I believe I took this in a good way and realised that this meant slowing down and smelling the roses. Realising that I don't need to go full blast into things yet. A lot of the people at work younger than me are doing high level degrees like law and commerce and engineering. I think they will burn out soon. I believe it is important to have a good idea of where to go in life when you are in your 20s. Don't vegetate etc. But also don't go too fast. Only people who are sure about themselves can do that.

People are all different. What may work for one doesn't mean it works for another. I was told by various figureheads around me at the age of 17 or 18 that you had be married at 20 and have kids already. Such figureheads forgot that things don't work out for all of us. Ivory tower syndrome perhaps . Also I think a lot of the discontent I experience these days comes from that element growing up around strict Anglicans.

I am just sitting by the pool at the moment. Thanks for your being here

In response to: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

MDTSenior Contributor05 Oct 2020, 4:23 pm AEDT

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Gee whiz @TAB
Is that after they did it?

In response to: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

TABSenior Contributor05 Oct 2020, 4:27 pm AEDT

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

yeah had root canal, was told not much of tooth left so needed crown asap oh well @Emelia8

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

AnastasiaSenior Contributor05 Oct 2020, 4:27 pm AEDT

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

I read your first post just now Hams x

I have subscribed to your thread so I can stay more in touch. I actually think you're pretty awesome and very resilient. I'd be proud of you as my son. I'm sorry about your family ups and downs that you mentioned. I'm really off now (easily distracted lol) hugs to you all

@MDT @Emelia8 @TAB

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

MDTSenior Contributor05 Oct 2020, 4:43 pm AEDT

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

All good @Anastasia
Yeah my family are great. They are proud of what I've achieved. I just sometimes feel guilty i guess. Nothing was thrust upon me by them. It was everywhere though- religious authority that is.

Anyway. Take care my friend and thank you for your kind words.

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

AppleblossomSenior Contributor05 Oct 2020, 4:50 pm AEDT

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Hugs @MDT

I always liked your thoughfulness. Hhhhmmmm re religious authority. Even today, growing up in religious schools can put unnecessary pressures on people. It has been a long time since starting a family by 20 has been the norm. What were they thinking. We have to be careful about all the ideas and expectations we internalise without having enough information. Sitting by the pool ... decadent aye ... yet in your way you do the hard yards.

Cheers Mate

Apple

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

MDTSenior Contributor05 Oct 2020, 5:12 pm AEDT

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

@Appleblossom yeah exactly.

I'm thinking of getting into meditation or yoga. Dunno how to start it. I think it will prove effective in dealing with moods.

Good to see you my friend

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

ethSenior Contributor05 Oct 2020, 5:14 pm AEDT

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Hi @MDT I'm around for a bit now if you feel like a chat. Lovely to see the support you have here.

Hi also @Appleblossom @Anastasia @TAB @Emelia8

this is the local beach I go to at least a couple of times a week to clear my head. Not so busy yet. I don't swim yet, still to cold for me, but love the sea breeze and spray and paddling along the shoreline. Lots of negative ions there - so good for mental health.

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

MDTSenior Contributor05 Oct 2020, 5:34 pm AEDT

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

Negative ions aye @eth
What are those ?

Good to see you too.

Yeah just trying to figure it all out

In response to: Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

ethSenior Contributor05 Oct 2020, 5:39 pm AEDT

Re: Lacking direction, unsure of what I need to do and generally just fed up.......

@MDT https://www.webmd.com/balance/features/negative-ions-create-positive-vibes#1

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