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Not sure how to help

unsurewhattodoNew Contributor29 June 2016, 5:07 pm AEST

Not sure how to help

Hi,

Im new to all this but I am seeking some support. My partner suffers from servere episodes of deep depression frustration and gets angry at the world.

These days never last too long and he will generally go back to his fun loving self however when he is down he is really down and it is very scary. I have tried on several occassions to bring up the subject of help but he does not think he needs it. So the only thing left foe me to do is try and understand what he is going through and try to help. I have recieved help for depression before myself but I have not been at the point he gets to.

He will drink excessively at least once or twice a month to the point he could be drinking solid for 24hrs straight then just pass out. He tends to like to go for drives after drinking which makes me worry heaps.

He does say some horrible things while under the influence not abusive more like "why would I want to stay with him I might as well pack up my things and just leave" then he will have no idea the next day of anything he has said or done.

He has threaten to take his life once before which was very frightening for everyone involved so I am worried he may want to hurt himself again promting me to a little over protective.

I love him dearly and can not imagine life without him when he is not down he is truely an amazing person that would do anything for anyone he just does not see it himself. He is not violent or abusive towards me.

Im not sure how to help him since he will not get help and it is starting to stress me out too.

Any help??

4 replies

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In response to: Not sure how to help

Unknown userMember02 July 2016, 8:29 pm AEST

Re: Not sure how to help

Do you have a family GP you can talk to?

In response to: Re: Not sure how to help

AppleblossomSenior Contributor02 July 2016, 11:08 pm AEST

Re: Not sure how to help

Have you been able to tell him that you are struggling with some of his low sense of self esteem and dont know how to help ... or that you have never thought of packing up and leaving?

I wonder if it is a good idea to keep the drinking behaviour separate from the self-concept issues.

In response to: Re: Not sure how to help

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor03 July 2016, 9:06 pm AEST

Re: Not sure how to help

Hi @unsurewhattodo

It might be worth contacting the moderators of the site for specific services who can support and advise you ....

There is a Chat Offline button above, or the Helpline no. 1800 18 7263 to call during the day.

If you have sought support for depression yourself, but would classify your partner's episodes as worse, it is clear to you that he needs help .... but you can lead a horse to water ..... it's only the person themselves who can actually commit to seeking help.

Perhaps if you locate the services - especially if he can contact them anonymously - he might take the plunge.

Whether he does or he doesn't, it sounds like you will need support ongoing to be able to keep living with this ... and your feelings and coping ability are just as important as his ....

We are available here to chat to, and some of our members may speak up with a similar story to offer you empathy and a listening ear from someone who has been there themselves.

Take care. Wishing you courage and strength in your journey.

🌷🌸

In response to: Not sure how to help

MetooNew Contributor06 July 2016, 1:18 am AEST

Re: Not sure how to help

Thank you for sharing your story. He is lucky to have a partner that loves him so much. I'm in a similar situation myself. I want to be able to help my partner as much as I can and at times, the answer seems so simple... Book the appointment, take them to the appointment, give it a try. Be there next to them throughout the whole process. Unfortunately, it's an idea that can be fast rejected. My partner tends to suggest other things to do that will help make him feel better like, watch a movie, clean his room, go out for dinner. It works for the moment, it might not fix the problem but at least he knows you're there for him and he can still feel wanted... And potentially remember that he is loved when he is feeling low.

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