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Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Hi everyone on the forums. *Admins/mods, feel free to move this to an appropriate thread if this one isn't the right place.*

I'm really down right now, in a dark place. I want to hurt myself, I'm feeling suicidal. I've never attempted or done anything in my life but I want to.

As I mentioned in one of my posts, I don't see my Psychiatrist again until March 30. Then the new GP on March 13, but I want to see my Psychiatrist more because I feel more comfortable with him.

I also mentioned in another post that the local mental health triage (yes thats what they called themselves) refuse to help me and support me, they just admit people so they won't help or tell me people/places that can. I give up.

I can't get a job, I can't afford to study and the free courses at TAFE & Uni you had to a course already & have qualifications which I don't. I can't meet people. I went to a Headspace Centre & that was bad for me, sometime last year (for a group & Psychologist).

I don't see Psychologists anymore because of bad experiences. I see my Psychiatrist on Skype because he's in Sydney & I'm in Victoria (regional sort of).

I don't know what to do, I just give up. I don't want to be here anymore and I can't stop these thoughts, it's so hard for me not to try and do something and fight the thoughts. I only have my parents but it's so hard.

I'm sorry for coming on here and venting, I know everyone has their own things to deal with. I don't want to call 000 at the moment, I'd have to discuss with my parents anyway but they know everything I go through.

I don't know if these meds are working at all or if i should up the dosage like my Psychiatrist said shortly.

I just want to hurt myself and don't want to be here. I'm so stressed and just ready for a break down. On my walk today with my dog I had a panic attack because of everything and just seeing a few people and cars drive by which gets a bit much for me as silly as that sounds, I know. And I just feel like I'm ready for a breakdown.

Yes I've spoken to Kids Helpline, eHeadspace, Beyond Blue, SANE web chat etc. I might try them now too if I can get through, I don't know.

@CheerBear @outlander @Darcy @NNY @greenpea @eth @Valentine @Hamsolo01 @TheVorticon @Shaz51 @Snowie @Faith-and-Hope @Sans911 @WriterMelb @TAB @BlueBay @Adge @Scoo @Scribbles @Meowmy @Maggie @Ant7 @Appleblossom (just tagging everyone I've talked to or who has supported my posts again, sorry. Hope none of you mind again).

178 replies

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In response to: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

@Former-Member

I hope you can get the meds right. Up till now I was against meds but I think it was manly denial. I have been having a rough week. It seems to be getting worse not better but I am aware that I am really at the beginning of this attempt of treatment. I just wish the self harm thoughts would back off.

💖

In response to: Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Hey @Former-Member thank you, I was that way too but I started meds in general in August last year, I didn't know much about them and I'll still learning, antidepressants that is. This one will be my 4th one when I get the new ones.

I'm sorry you're struggling and that you're having suicidal thoughts, that breaks my heart. I also have suicidal thoughts daily, I've never done anything or attempted but it's extremely hard to battle them, the thoughts are more frequent and dark, sometimes I think of plans. Yes my parents, Psychiatrist, people on the forums and GP know. That's the only professional help I know since the triage refuse to see and help me.

Please don't harm yourself. Have you tried the rubber band thing? I've been trying it

In response to: Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

@Former-Member

I let them get the better of me recently and obviously failed. My DID is out of hand for the first time in years, freshly discovered traumas are a client assaulted me at work. I won't lie that the pull to success it strong and I hate myself for that. I have 4 gorgeous children and 1 beautiful granddaughter and I hate that they are not enough anymore.

The rubber thing I also failed as I was doing it to hard and using it the cut off blood flow. Don't do that anymore.

my ex will be staying with me tonight to keep me safe. Please don't worry 💖

In response to: Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Wow, that's awful, I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that, no one does, about the assault you mentioned, that breaks my heart aswell as your suicidal thoughts. Please be safe and take care of yourself, and I am worried. Love and hugs xx

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Morning @Former-Member

💖

In response to: Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Morning @Former-Member , how are you today?

In response to: Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

@Former-Member Was feeling great then anxiety kicked in and now i am sitting in the corner at my sister in laws pretending everything is ok.

How are you today my friend💖

In response to: Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

I'm okay, thanks for asking. I'm sorry to hear that, anything i can do? @Former-Member I'm still waiting for my Psychiatrist (well the Telehealth company) to email me back about my Psychiatrist and the prescriptions, although I see him on the 30th again, and waiting for him to do the report (I read it on my file on the company's website)

In response to: Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

@Former-Member

You just chatting with me helps (corny I know) but it's helps knowing that you know something about what I am dealing with.

hope they get your new meds sorted soon💖

In response to: Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

Re: Is anyone around tonight? Depressed and suicidal

It's not corny, it's sweet and caring, so thank you, it means a lot and I'm glad that I can help you, I feel the same way about you.

Thanks, I hope they do too. Still waiting for my Psychiatrist report, did a live chat with the Telehealth company but no one's replying, ugh. @Former-Member

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