Stuck for Ideas while we wait for Spectrum

hello and welcome to the forum my friend @Staycalm

thank you for sharing and remember that you are not alone my friend

how are you and your family going today xx

@Former-Member, @Determined , @Bunniekins , @BlueBay , @Faith-and-Hope , @eth , @outlander , @Former-Member

Hi @Staycalm and welcome

Sorry to hear things are so hard for your family at the moment.

I support my wife who lives with BPD

We have been married 20+ years and have 3 children.

We have had a few rough patches like you are describingover that time. While it is a struggle we have found that for us private health cover has been essential. Kind of dreading our upcoming premium but too scared to drop it. Our worst year of crisis my darling spent over 4 months in a private mental health ward across 6 admissions. Most of that was under supervision due high risk. There have been 10+ (don't want to remember really exactly how many) admissions over the past 5 years.

We (I) initially tried to get a public admission but like you were told it was not suitable. That was when we had to make the private health cover work. I only work part time combined with centrelink benefits so it is a stretch.

Finding a good psyc has been our biggest challenge. When we found one darling refused to go due to the 2 hour round trip to visit. (We are semi rural so local services area bit thin). Unfortunately there are No easy answers 😔

Hope that ramble was of some help. Happy to listen and answer any questions where I can.

Hi @Staycalm i am sorry to read what you and your husband are going through with your daughter. I can understand as I have BPD.
I was diagnosed 10 years ago at age 44. Very difficult fir me and my hubby and three adult children.
ive been in a public hodpital by ambulance a few times. They were very good.
but I do have private cover and go into a hospital once or twice a year.
I have been to spectrum last year and did a acceptance and commitment therapy one on one fir about 4 weeks.
I feel if you can find a great psychologist where your daughter can talk to would be good.
I feel for you as a mum myself I would be worried.
I hope you can get some help fir your daughter.
happy to chst anytime.

@Staycalm feeling for you at the moment.

Hard to know what to say at times like this,

I know though when my darling was going through this having someone to listen helped more than any words so here listening.

ohhhh @Staycalm thinking of you lots today my friend xxx

how are you xx

@Determined, @BlueBay

Hugs @Staycalm ❤️ I really feel for you.

Thankyou everyone. We had another ED visit last night and she was kept overnight at the BAU. We are slowly working out what needs to happen, hopefully, and will try to not think too much about what an uphill battle it's going to be.

I broke down again yesterday after getting an invoice of over $1200 from the ambulance because we didn't know she wasn't covered on our family plan as she's not in fulltime study. That is more than I earn in a fortnight and It just seems so unfair that, because we are stuck in the middle of this nightmare, trying to get help, we are struggling to keep on top of all of this financially as well. The person I spoke to at Ambulance Victoria suggested we get her registered at Centrelink but the thought of all that paperwork and process is the stuff of nightmares! We have had the form for her to get her own medicare card printed out for weeks but haven't been able to get it done because we've been trying to keep her alive.

Medicare only covers half of what we pay for her psychologist and she's had 3 visits of her 10 already. We have got a referral for a psychiatrist so that's coming. Thankfully her wonderful GP is bulk billing her appointments at the moment. Most of the quotes for private cover are around $50 a fortnight for the initial cover and then in two months we do the gold upgrade which will double the cost but theoretically opens up the private psychiatricservices. She needs it desperately but it's going to hurt us financially.

Hi @Staycalm, I realise it's been a few months since your post but I am new to this forum so only just came across it. I can relate to your post as I also have a daughter with BPD, she's 17.

Just a quick run down - my beautiful, happy, intelligent, emotionally attached daughter started having difficulties at 13, we first became aware of her self harm and eating disorder at 14. We also started at Headspace but were quickly transferred to a high care multi disciplinary team. My daughter was/is not receptive to talking and refuses her diagnoses of BPD. Long story short - after seeing a private psychologist she advised we get Private Health Insurance to cover Top Hospital, my daughter was admitted to a private facility the night of her first appointment with the psychiatrist and it was the worst decision we've made! She spent almost 5 months in hospital and was worse by the end. There is a reason why you've been told hospital stays are not ideal for people with BPD - her psychiatrist refused to believe this and wanted her to become dependant on him!

I realise all doctors are different and all situations/experiences can vary but I would be very careful of any suggestions of long term hospital admission.

We are back with the public system and I have been very happy them but it's come to the time that they cannot help us anymore until my daughter decides to talk so we will be on our own soon which is very scary!

Good luck to you - I know how incredibly difficult it is!

Hey there @Staycalm,

It sounds incredibly tough supporting your daughter through her distress, the limits of the mental health system, and the financial costs cropping up. It sounds like you were in a crisis period earlier in the year, how are things going now?

@Shell17 it sounds like you can really relate, I'm so sorry to hear that a long hospital admission was not helpful for your daughter. That must have been devastating. Thank you also for acknowledging that while this was your family's experience, hospitals, professionals, and experiences of long admissions do vary for different people.

Thinking of you both 🌻