Anyone want to chat?

You don't need to feel guilty at all @WriterMelb , you haven't done anything wrong. You're allowed to have bad days and feel however you want to feel. As they say, "it's OK not to be OK." I'm sorry to hear about your day too, I wonder what an outpatient thing would be like. It kind of sounds like what I did at Headspace but boy was that traumatic, everyone just started being rude to me for no reason at all when everything was fine for the first 3 out of 8 weeks. Then I just stormed out of there crying and went to the art place next door. No one cared and its on a main road. So long story short that was traumatic for me and still is. I complained about the manager and she lost her job there though so that's the only good thing I got out of it.

Wow that's awful about the chemist, I'm so sorry. That's definitely not right, do you have any other chemists nearby or a professional that could try and explain to them on your behalf perhaps? Just a suggestion, I really hope that gets sorted out soon, that's disgraceful I'm sorry you have to deal with that

Hi @Former-Member

Thats funny I did the same when I'm walking in public when I was undiagnosed I just looked at the cracks in the pavement. My folks hated that. Now I look away just to focus on what a beautiful day it is and look for little things like a feather, bird calls, plane in the distance then I realise I'm here, now what was I coming here for?

I do that too @Valentine , and hello to you xx (nice rhyme haha)

@Former-Member

My experience is similar but different. My mind races and pings about all over the place. When I'm not on my meds it moves so rapidly that focus and concentration are difficult. This can lead to me staring into space rather than staring at footpath cracks. It had a similar effect on the people around me thou!

writermelb

Understandable @WriterMelb . I've always had trouble concentrating, this is why I have my Learners but haven't driven yet because of my anxiety and it requires so much concentration. the same reason for why I don't have a job and I'm not studying and left school early (I can't afford TAFE & Uni, plus I don't know what I want to study, & can't get a job as much as I've tried). Plus I don't have the mental capacity for any of it

I'm such a failure

@Former-Member

The differences between you and me are interesting. I have successfully studied. I cannot now. I have worked, but cannot now. My concentration is improving. This means I can do my farourite hobby a bit. Music. I havent played in bands or performed for quite a while. I really miss it. Now I have time to do stuff. When Im able I try stuff. I Jealously guard my 'sane time’ as I call it. Very precious. Do have any 'sane time' that you can use like me?

Well that's good to hear @WriterMelb .

I can't think of anything that really helps me. I need more professional support but I can't get any, I only see my Psychiatrist once a month, don't see Psychologists because of bad experiences and because I can't get in to see any because they don't bulk bill and take new patients. I see my Psychiatrist on Skype (Telehealth) through a company and Medicare pay for it. And the triage won't even speak to me, my Psychiatrist told me that I can go there just for support and someone to talk to in between seeing him, nope. Sigh.

I just really want to hurt myself and end my life and it's extremely hard not to.

I've been there a number of times. Have you got emergency contacts. I'm deeply worried about you. Call 000 when feeling that way. I did. When you arrive at hospital in an ambulance, they do treat you urgently. The help they give was lifesaving in my experience. Nothing like the bad stuff you mentioned.

Hi @Former-Member

I'm moderating this afternoon and can hear from your post how you're struggling at the moment and it's great that you're reaching out for support.

It can be hard on the forums to support people feeling really distressed so I'll send you an email soon to check in on how you're going. I hope that you'll be able speak to someone close to you or call a help line if feel like you need immediate support.

Here are the numbers, in case you don't have then handy:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

Keep an eye on your email inbox and I'll be in touch soon.

Take care....Rainforest

Hi @Former-Member , I got your email and read it all, I ended up going out to get something to eat then going for a walk.

Am I able to please email you back asking some questions about help nearby with my location in the email?

@WriterMelb thank you for worrying about me, I'm sorry that i worried you though, I didn't mean to worry anyone. It's just extremely hard. Maybe I'll speak to the GP about it more when I see her again on the 13th, or she has an appointment this Friday at 12:30pm, should I cancel it and make it for that day? What do you think? @Former-Member