Husband with PTSD triggers my anxiety

Hey there @SHINY Firstly thank you so much for sharing your story. I want you to know amongst our little online community you are not alone It can be really complicated to grieve the loss of who someone was, considering whether we accept the new version of them or whether to keep trying to perservere to get them back to that place. It's really incredible to hear that you have such open and honest communication, and that you are both seeing psychologists Have you considered going to couples therapy together? Anecdotally I have heard this is a game changer for developing and reflecting on interpersonal relationships, is this something your psych has mentioned at all? How are you feeling about the living apart, has this already been implemented? We have a fact sheet here on PTSD and a few of our members live with this as well, I don't doubt soon some of the community will jump in here and provide their insight 🙂

Look forward to hearing from you in your next post @SHINY you're not alone and we are all here to listen 🙂

Hi Nashy,

Thankyou for your reply, It defiantly makes it easier to know others feel confused also. I feel guilty for not being a strong support for him.

We have both been advised to go to couples therapy, this is something we have been trying to do although seems a bit pricey so still looking.

We both try real hard to listen to each other so we don't see it as urgent atm.

My husband still lives with me, we are waiting for extra funds before he moves. Im on board with living seperate because i see how our 5 kids, my work schedule and my own personal emotions trigger him. For the past 2 years there has been a lot of pretending he is ok and hoping it will go away, from both of us. I feel like my husband is serious about getting better now and has identified triggers.

Previously we would take on all the kids together, take them to theme parks, I would work for more money and he would help look after mine. We would juggle all strong personalities, chores and house work together. He would feel so much pressure he would need to escape after they go back, he would go camping alone for several days to recharge. This created such a contrast for him. The lows were getting lower and the highs were getting higher. It wasn't realistic for him to go camping alone each fourtnight. It is also dangerous when his depressed and overwhelmed. Lows got so low he had planned a suicide. Something needs to change.

Despite what I know is best, I do have waves of insecurities and we have spoken about them a few times, he knows he needs to keep reassuring me as we go, and he does a wonderful job at doing this. I do occassionally feel abandoned and regected by this outcome. It is heart breaking that our life together is not good for him or his recovery.

If I'm anxious my emotions are so much stronger and I get scared he won't come back because it's too chaotic and he will never be ok enough to cope.

After talking to my husband about this, he has confessed he feels the same heart break confusion and doubt. But we both want to see progress.

Thankyou for reaching out, I hope others do feel like they can share too, it would be good to know if anyone else has experienced separate living arrangement for ptsd recovery. Was it successful.

hello and welcome to the forum @SHINY

like @Former-Member , you are not alone my friend

@BlueBay, @Former-Member , @eth