Hurting and causing hurt because I didn't understand.

Hi. I'm a sole carer. Mum.
A completely burnt out Mum; desperately banging on the thick steel doors of uncaring professionals at every turn, trying to get answers or help with my son, who has just turned 12.

I will add right here that he was put on (medication name removed) 3 months ago and it has been the first miracle in 2 years of utter hell. It is a medication used to treat schizophrenic patients. Things aren't perfect, but neither of us are dead right now as a result.
I'm interested to hear from anyone who has experienced early onset psychosis and or schizophrenia.

Tonight I stumbled upon the series called: "You can't Ask That" on ABCiView. The third episode just so happened to be on Schizophrenia. I've learnt a few things from watching it and then subsequentally finding my way to the SANE website for more information.

My son does have a diagnosis of autism, however up until the age of 10 was doing well, despite dozens of, what I now realise from reading tonight; triggers to a lifelong change in the brain. (Father has ADHD, likely Aspergers, self-absorbed; he's a drug and gambling addict from a family with a long history of severe physical and mental deformities. His Father and I were not together but he has been in the picture enough to add to the trauma)
My son was aggressively treated in day care: then severely abused by a teachers aid from the first day he set foot in kindergarten, we've had abusive neighbours going out of their way to cause trauma and insomnia for 8 years. Changed schools 4 times with a year of homeschooling in the middle. The list goes on. A very bad start basically.
He was doing extremely well with the year of homeschooling. A keen learner, interactive, worked hard, finished tasks, was able to focus.

Then BAM...virtually overnight, psychosis began and it was relentless and severe. 23hrs a day. Screeching like he was being murdered. desperately banging at walls and wailing. soiling himself. Seeing things that weren't there, looking at things that weren't there, as though he was interacting with them or trying to pick them up.Not sleeping or eating. Hysterical. Non..Stop.

Police wouldn't help. Ambulance wouldn't take him. Crisis lines were useless.
Medications did nothing. He LOOKED like a 1700's asylum patient.

This continued for about 17months. Some anxiety medications would seem to take a hint of the edge off for a few days, but caused other symptoms and would then fail.

A medication used to treat schizophrenia (that I had to remove the name of in order to publish this) is the ONLY one that has worked and continues to work. He's on 10-15mg's a day.
(All the other trials of medications, for adhd and anxiety etc, actually made him worse)

His last primary school made the occasional suggestion that he was schizophrenic (although they were also confusing that with multiple personality disorder; because he can just flick like a switch; screaming hysterically, then laughing hysterically, then fine.. or variations of this.)
None of his current symptoms were part of his autism. He is a different person. When he changed, he began investing all of his awake time creating no-win situations designed to distress and anger me, all while shrieking and wailing for hours. They would continue for 8hrs, then switch to the next one. It was toxic. I was being emotionally and mentally abused by my own child.
He also developed severe OCD and defiance.
About 9 months ago, he stopped being able to 'hear' what I was saying, even for simple expected answers like yes or no, while looking directly at me. A recent hearing test says, there is nothing at all physically wrong with his hearing. He just can't concentrate on words at all- He hears something completely different to what is said. Perhaps the noise in his head is too loud?
An EEG a year ago showed some unusual changes in brain patterns, but no answers as to what or why.

Severe trauma has affected both of us. Burnout and 2 years of toxic 'abuse' has left me with zero patience with him and I now find myself saying horrible things to him in response to his behaviours. I am crushed with attacks and judgements and undermining from all the sources whom I have attempted to engage with, to manage him. (I know, I sound paranoid. I'm not. I go to each new service I'm fobbed off to, fully expecting that THEY will provide the service the previous service sent me to them, to receive, but it's an endless merry-go-round of too-hard-baskets)

It has been like living with an abusive partner, only it's my child, and i have nowhere to go to get away from it; No respite or help. I have sat in the car in the back yard with worksite earmuffs on, sobbing, just trying to get away from the relentless screaming. The pediatrician and the psychiatrist at the children's hospital have put him in the too-hard basket.
It's complete isolation.
He's supposed to be starting highschool this year. We still don't have a school and we don't have the appropriate code with the dept of Ed NSW to GET a school that can cope with him.

Anyhow, It genuinely sounds like my son may in fact have developed early onset schizophrenia!? or perhaps it won't progress beyond a change in personality and psychosis? (I have tried easing off with the medication and the symptoms are still there strong as ever, so he definitely needs to be continuing this medication.)
I worry I might now be adding to his negative altered mental state, whatever the issue is. At any rate, 2 years is a LONG time to endure such drastic symptoms 😞
I just wish I could get a professional service to stop treating this Mum like crap and ACTUALLY take this on board and give it the time of day to find out what's wrong.

Sorry for the lengthy post, I'm hoping only those who have some familiarity with all this, have continued to read. I can't find examples of this behaviour on the web or youtube so I am trying to see if these tick all the boxes I now think they do.