The Invisible Man

JosRapp

I talk to anyone.

I am a lonely man.

I have a Bipolar 2 , memory is not good which makes trying to talk to people difficult.

Be someone hitchhiking out of my (small country town) and I take you 50 k to the next town when I wasn’t even going there.

You are happy, I am happy, we talk all the way.

I have done exactly this.

@JosRapp @Ralph

Fully understand. I am in the same place. Even with busy active lifestyles, there is still a portion of the population that is alone. You and I are in this boat. I think we just have to accept our invisibility and look at it as a superpower or an observer-type. Funnel it into poetry, art, writtung, comics.

@GeminiLion Yeah. Do all that kind of stuff. Write. Do art. Have a lot of hobbies. Too many really, it feels like there is never time enough to do them all. But none of them take the place of having someone to share even just one of them with. And yep, have tried interest groups, offline and on, but it always ends up just making me feel even more invisible.

I don't see it, feel that it is a superpower. Not after a lifetime of it. Yes, you get to observe a lot ... sometimes that is good, sometimes it has it's benefits, but they are massively outweighted by being overlooked ... or just not looked at, not seen, at all. Not just that, but most of my life being told that nobody wants to see me.

@Calmblueocean, you are lucky if you get even them calling round to talk to! I honestly can't remember the last time even someone trying to sell something knocked on the door.

@Ralph, if you are comfortable picking up hitchhikers, well, good for you. Not everyone is comfortable doing that. I sure wouldn't.

Hey @JosRapp. I would come and knock on your door and say hello. Have you got a dog? I talk to my dog a bit but he doesn't talk back. I take him for walks and people stop and chat. Maybe sometimes its good to take the initiative and chat to someone. Someone at work? I have learned to enjoy my own company . If i have a big conversation with someone i get home and feel a bit overwhelmed by it. I dissect what we talked about and think about it too much. It is good to have a person to chat with and maybe these forums can help. You are right though a real person to be there for you can be hard to find.

@Calmblueocean, no, I don't have a dog, or any pets anymore. Have had in the past though, dogs and cats, but found that it didn't help the loneliness. Not even walking the dogs, taking them to puppy school and stuff like that, it didn't help in meeting people.

No, there is nobody at work to talk with. I have learnt that lesson from experience, so, I don't push it any more since they have made it clear that they aren't interested in talking with me. It is like that anywhere I have gone though, from school to work, interest groups and hobbies, gym, volunteering. I have been using the internet since 1995, and haven't found anyone to connect with in all that time.

Sometimes, I feel even more invisible on the internet, because, I guess it feels like people can just turn it off and walk away. That I am just text on a screen, and not really real.

It feels so, so dehumanising.

That is the only way I can describe it now really. It is something more than invisible. That makes me feel less than human.

So ends another day, another week.

Lots of stuff in the media about bullying. But, it only seems to be something that is spoken about when it is on social media, or talked about by some celebrity. It is a popularity driven topic. Yet I always wonder how many who say that they hate bullying and that it should stop, either have, or are, bullying someone themselves. How many people who are bullied never get the media or social media attention. The support and encouragement.

I never did. As close as I got to any support was to be told to "man up". Stand up for yourself, they will back down if you fight back.

But they never did. They got a response from me. Something else to laugh at, to make jokes about.

What was worse than the bullying, were the people who could see it happening, and yet did nothing. No words of support or encouragement. Not even any friendly words. And since a lot of the bullying I have encountered over the years is about how I am always alone and have no friends .... it often feels like one just fuels the other.

But the bullying isn't always words. Or physical attacks. Being excluded and ignored is just as powerful. Just as painful. And, no matter how much it might be said, time doesn't really heal all wounds.