It's a little bit difficult

Hi everyone

I haven't posted for a year. I'm still caring for my daughter who has bpd and bipolar II. Trying to keep the family functioning, my job, my friends, my health....just trying to "keep" is so hard. I meditate. I exercise. I keep animals. I make sure I go out with friends. But there's this cloud. My daughter is continuing to see her psyche. Is enrolled in DBT and attends, can't hold a job down so we give her an income. Needless to say, each fortnight I get down to a couple of dollars in the bank just before pay day arrives. I am so sick of this emotional roller coaster. Of her. Of being so self-absorbed. Of not contributing in any way to helping out around the house. Of being bed bound unless she's attend the clinic or a psyche session. Or seeing her boyfriend who just comes over to have sex with her and then goes. Hardly a relationship.

I've decided there is no answer.

I just needed to talk. My husband has had enough as well and I don't want to burden him tonight with how things played out today. A fight with her boyfriend, her gritting her teeth in anger at me to leave her room, her threat of suicide.

Having written this, I've realised why I am feeling like things are a bit more difficult today.

It has been a difficult day. At what point is she responsible for her behaviour? Drawing boundaries is so exhausting. She's clever. Manipulative and seems to believe her feelings only.

Thanks for listening whoever is out there in a similar boat. I'm sorry for all your pain, but your sharing it, somehow, tragically, helps me.

Dots