Songs58Contributor
Husband dealing with wife suffering PTSD !!! suggestions on how to cope please !!!!
Hi Just joined this forum yesterday been a bit hestitant to post 😞 ..... I would like to say before I post that I totally understand that there are many people going through what iam at the moment with their friend or wifes and partners , i dont think for one moment its just me ......
My wife and I found each other about 4 and a half year ago and fell in love and got marriaged to years ago this month so known eachother 5 years this November 2020 .
My wife turned 60 years of age last Dec 2019 and ive just turned 65 years of age this Jan 2020 ...... when I met my wife i didnt know at the time she was suffering any symptoms that anyone else would go through after coming out of a previous marriage two years before me .
I realized that she was quite spoken and very well mananned and beautiful .... but after knowing her for six months or so i started to realize there was more to her life and past issues that were effecting her quality of life .... I wante dto know more from her but soon found out she was not able to give me answers or communicate about her past at all without breaking down and crying ... she woul djust say I cant talk about it ... and that she was ok it was just her.
I knew it was more than that i sugested that she go with me to see her local GP to talk about the way she feels ... she said to me straight out I wouldnt get in to get an appoitment ..... I said just wait I will ring now and of course I was able to get in within two hours time.
The negativity that has been enforced or that my wife had grown up with was intense and she would not want to do anything about anything she was faced with going through her life ......once we got to her doctor he said how are you and my wife just broke down crying saying shes not coping very well ........so then her asked me what i was concerned about and I told him what I thought without knowing to much detail ...... she did tell me eventually prior to doctors .... that she was dumped by her parents at age 5 at childrens refuge alomg with her siblings 3 others .
The doctor knew this as well cause she had mentioned to him a long time ago .... he advised her to seek a proffesional to discuss all of her past .... it was very overwhelming for me to know about her history and Ive been trying to understand while any human would do that to anyone especially a child .
So for me living and dealing with my wifes illness has been very challenging and sad at the same to to see her not get enjoyment out of little things like just waking up in the morning and saying wow ..what a wonderful day outside it is and excited about what we are going to do today..... my wife doesnt feel any emotions joy or happiness from life from those things ...... but she does get enjoyment from her 3 daughters and her grandchildren which i love to see her smile and laughter and also a lady friend she met just before I met my wife 4 years or so ago .
The last 2 years Ive realized through been councelled myself that I cant make my wife happy around me if she doesnt want to be 😞 what hurts me is the fact she can laugh and smile and enjoy conversation with her daughters and her friend but not me !!!!! ........ this is becoming the norm now and i feel on the outer in our marriage and feel nothing Ive done or try to share and encourage her has made any difference to her outlook on life with me .
Iam not a jealous person i love her children and my wife and her friend I just dont get why there's no conversation quality time with me ..... its non existent .... when i try to engage my wife with a conversation .... I get stop nagging me !!!! dont talk to me !!! Iam with you 24 hours a day !!!!! and with a lot of Anger in her voice and have been told to get out of her life if I dont like the way she is !!!!!!! and also she said ive been like this all my life Iam not changing for you or anybody so go !!!!! .
Dispite doctors saying to her they understand what shes been through and that nothing can change that ..... she sits and listens to them and comes away with no intention of doing whatever they may have suggested ......
So I just wanted to share this hoping others might be or are having similar things that they may be going through that could maybe help me see any other avenues I could take to help me through this time iam suffering with Anxiety and high blood pressure and my doctor says I need to look after myself at this time ... but still would like to share my life with my wife if she willing too .
Look forward to recieving any positive advice anyone has regards..... Songs58
